#switching the format to letting the beasts themselves answer

[badlydrawnbeastcookies]

what did the beasts even do in the tree to pass the time? cry? sing? sleep? evil things?

"Oh! Oh! Oh! I can answer this one!"

"Inside the tree was BORING and AWFUL."

"Some of us passed the time by thinking too little. Others by thinking too much."

"Eternal Sugar Cookie simply slept. And Burning Spice Cookie, with no outlet to cause destruction, thought of what they would have done that would have changed the situation."

"And me? Well, after going through the five stages of grief (with extra time spent in anger) I decided to use the time to write all the plays I would do once I got out."

[random-imagines-blog]

Tonight Tonight {Haldir x Elf!Reader One Shot}

Requested by: Anonymous Wordcount: 2495 Summary: You are fighting alongside your brother, Legolas, at Helms Deep. But you grow distracted at another elven ally.

Despite the army of Uruk-hai still being some way off, you could feel the beating of their feet in your very veins. When you closed your eyes, you could see the formations of the dark beasts, imagine them walking towards the very spot where you, your friends, your family, the men of Rohan, were standing under the cloudy skies. Helm’s Deep. You looked beside you to where your brother, Legolas, was standing, and he was looking back at you. He could feel it as well, and you saw a tinge of fear in his bright eyes. The same was probably echoed in yours. You then looked the other way, catching the eye of Haldir, who had come all the way from Lothlorien just to be here for the battle, to be here for the men, with his army of archers. He did not look afraid. In fact, he looked ready for the challenge of war. It had been a long time since there had been this much of it in Middle Earth. And you hoped that, once Sauron was finally defeated, there would be no more to come for another age.

Rain started to fall from overhead, but no one went inside for cover. You all stood there in silence, looking out from the walls. The people of Rohan, the women, the children, the old and the feeble, were hiding safe inside, and they were your mission. Protect them at all costs. Take down as many as you can so that Frodo and the ring could go to Mordor with a touch more safety, and destroy the ring.

A shadow in the dark. A movement far ahead. The army had come.

The psychology of war was something that you had studied, and you were seeing it here. It was the youthful men around you that seemed to be the most fearless, despite them never having seen bloodshed like this before. They were the ones who first took out their swords, right as Aragorn was doing so. They looked like they were ready to charge in, all foolhardy. While the older were not in a hurry. They waited until the enemy was a little closer before loading their arrows into their bows. The elves did it with a very military-like efficiency, and you did it with them, holding the arrow back with ease. You knew not to shoot too early. You were waiting for Aragorn’s signal.

He gave it, and the war began.

There were more of them than you would have thought possible. But you stayed up high, getting as many of them with your supply of arrows, then picking some off of the dead bodies of your allies to shoot more. You were losing a lot of men. But they were losing a lot of uruk-hai, so it seemed a fair trade off. That’s just the way that things were in battle.

Your name was called from somewhere behind you and you turned around to see Haldir. Not a single hair on his beautiful blonde hair was mussed from the rain or from the enemy. He threw something towards you and you caught it one-handed before realizing that it was a full quiver. ‘My savior’ you mouthed to him, switching out your own empty one for this new one. He bowed his head and you could have sworn you started to see pink spots of exertion showing upon his cheek.

You ran over to him, stepping over the bodies of uruk-hais that had tried to climb over the defenses but ended up being squashed like bugs by you and the rest of the elves. Aragorn, Gimli and your brother Legolas had all disappeared into the battle somewhere, but you were not worried. They could handle themselves. “Haldir, are you alright? Do you need a rest?” You asked, putting your hand on his shoulder. Perhaps his years were catching up to him. Even you were beginning to tire, hoping that dawn would bring some relief.

“No, no,” He said, shaking his head vehemently. “I am proud to fight, and will until my dying breath.”

“Well, hopefully it doesn’t come to that,” You said, letting go of him, your eyes going back to the crowds below. “Though - there are worse places. And ways.”

“That is very true.” Haldir spoke softly, and his eyes remained on you. “Tell me - when this battle is over, what are you planning to do?”

“I’ll go wherever the King needs me,” You admitted.

“You would not consider returning to Lothlorien, with me?” He asked, his eyes dark and serious. You never even thought about returning there, though you had been a couple of times, and only recently with the fellowship. But be there - with him? Your heart beat in your chest, feeling like it wanted to come out and join the battle on its own. You put your hand over it to calm it down.

“Would you not consider coming with us?” You asked in return, but you knew his answer. He would be returning to Lothlorien after this battle. Even if it was a strong victory, he would not turn his back on his kingdom. He didn’t have to vocalize his answer. He met you with silence. You nodded, understanding.

“When my mission is over, when Sauron has been defeated...” You said, though you couldn’t bring yourself to promise that. You couldn’t even promise that you would live through the rest of this night.

The conversation couldn’t continue. The battle had caught up with you. Ladders were being climbed right up to where you were standing, and you had to stand precariously on the ledge and shoot your arrows downward. Haldir wasn’t far behind you, but he was working on another ladder, pushing it over before anyone could come up.

There weren’t many chances to talk, but you took every opportunity that you did have. Snippets between shooting off arrows. Eventually you had to switch to your sword as more enemies came in closer, and reloading took too much time. “You’ll come back - when your mission - is done?” Haldir asked, between shooting.

“Yes,” You finally said, after shoving your sword through an Uruk-hai’s gut. “I will.”

“Haldir!” A familiar voice called from below, and then yelled your own name. You looked down from the ramparts to see Aragorn looking up at the two of you. “Retreat!”

You nodded, as did Haldir, and got ready to do so, but there were still some enemies to fight off before you could even get towards where you were meant to go. Haldir called for the elves to retreat in his native tongue, while you stabbed through Uruk-hais that were trying to block your way. Big and nasty, these few were. Enough to even intimidate you. You  heard a heart-wrenching sound behind you, and turned to see that Haldir had been injured, his arm out in front of him. He spun around to face you, and you saw for the first time pain in his old eyes.

A Uruk-hai stood between you two, raising a sword in his hands. Before you could even think, you were reacting, running towards him, your own sword faithfully by your side. And before the enemy’s could be brought down into Haldir’s back, you shoved yours into the side with such force that the blade came out from the other end. You wrenched it out, and slick blood started to pour from the wound. Though not dead, the orc no longer had the momentum to follow through with his action.

You rushed to Haldir’s side as he regained his footing. Now, elves were not very big on contact, but you took hold of his hand as if you were his mother, and started to run, swinging your sword at anyone who managed to get in the way. Didn’t matter who, or what, you had to get Haldir back.

“You saved my life,” He said, his voice like one caught in a daze. “I thought I was going to die. I was ready to die.”

“Well maybe I wasn’t ready for you to go yet,” You said, half-carrying him down the stairs to a safe spot so that he could get a little rest. “How are you feeling? Can I get you anything?”

“It’s nothing too bad,” Haldir said, removing the armor from the area so that he could take a second look. “I’ll be alright.”

You didn’t really have the time to double check on that. The enemy was still coming in closer and closer. A retreat did not mean safety here. They were ferocious, but you and your own army were just as determined to win this as they were. “Stay safe, Haldir,” You spoke, and lightly kissed his pale cheek. And you left. You didn’t want to, but you didn’t have a choice. If there was to be any hope of winning this battle, you needed every person that was available to fight out there fighting. And that included yourself, though you left your heart behind, thinking of Haldir whenever you saw a flash of Elven armor, or even your brother’s blonde hair.

-

Not only was Helm’s Deep a victory, but the battle for Middle Earth had been an astounding success. There were losses along the way, and you had narrowly escaped death on more than one occasion. But Aragorn was crowned King, and you had somewhere that you needed to be.

The road to Lothlorien was a long one from Minas Tirith, but you made it on foot. You didn’t bring many things with you, so you had no need to bother a horse with such a long journey. It was the thought of Haldir, whom you have not seen since Helm’s Deep, that kept you going through those endless-feeling days.

The shade of the forest was refreshing. It certainly was better than the hot, hot sun beating down upon your brow. You paused to take a drink from the river which flowed close to Lothlorien, cupping a handful of water and drinking it down. You became aware of eyes on you after your second swallow. You finished up your drink, then got to your feet, your hands on either side of you, showing that you did not have weapons in hand.

“I am a friend to Lothlorien,” You spoke, turning around. You could just make out a shape in the darkness. A bow. An arrow, pointed at you. It may now be a time of peace but one could not be too careful. The last of Sauron’s spies may still be around, fleeing from their fallen city. “My name is Y/N, of Mirkwood. Daughter of Thranduil.”

Your name was enough for the archer to come out of the shadows and approach you. You faintly recognized him. He’d been at Helm’s deep with you. He  recognized you as well, as you could tell from the nod he had given you. But there was no happiness to see you - and you hoped it was just because he was a rather strict and aloof elf, and not because something was wrong.

He didn’t say anything, but turned and started to walk towards his city. And you followed. You kept your hands at your sides, no weapons. You didn’t need one. You knew that you were safe here, and once the other elves would see you, you knew that you were going to be among friends.

The lights first alerted you that you were getting close. And then those winding staircases that seemed to be as natural a part of the tree as the bark itself. Your eyes searched for Haldir’s, and when you finally saw them, they were staring right back at you. He was up high, speaking with another elf. But when he realized that it was truly you, he left the conversation promptly and descended down the stairs.

You waited patiently, adjusting your hair, rubbing your face to make sure there was no dirt on it. You should have checked your reflection in the water before you came. Eventually, Haldir did reach the bottom. Elves did not run unless it was absolutely necessary, so he had taken the stairs at his regular pace.

He approached you and took hold of your cheeks in his hands. His wound from the Uruk-hai had healed completely, you noticed. But then you couldn’t look away from his eyes. They were so deep, so beautiful. The feelings that you had tried to suppress until the battle, the feelings that brought you here just as everyone else was celebrating in Minas Tirith, were bubbling over.

“We’ve received the news. The war has been won,” Haldir said, and you nodded, affirming it for him. He looked like he didn’t believe it until you confirmed it.

“Sauron has been defeated. Mordor and the ring have been destroyed. Aragorn is King,” You listed off the things that had happened since Haldir had returned to Lothlorien after Helm’s Deep. And it was a long list of things. He cut you off though, as you were explaining how you had overtaken the ships with the help of ghosts.

“There’ll be time for that later,” He said, continuing to hold your face.

“Yes,” You said with a nod. You put your hands over his and lowered them from your face so you could talk without feeling like your cheeks were going to cave in. “Because the war is won and - and I don’t have to go anywhere. So I would like to stay here, if you will have me.”

“Of course, of course!” Haldir said, without any sort of hesitation. “I will give you my own room.”

“Oh, that’s not necessary,” You urged.

“It is,” Haldir insisted. “I want you to have it.”

“Stay with me then.”

There was a long pause as the two of you looked at one another. His eyes were softer here than they were on the battlefield. He was a little more relaxed than he usually was. Or perhaps he was just touched by your request. “Stay with you?”

“Is it such a strange concept?” You asked, stepping in closer to him. There was barely room to breathe between your chests. “We’ve stood beside one another in battle, and I have not forgotten what we have said to each other. Or the heat of the moment when I saw you hurt, and I worried that I would never see you again. Or that I had kissed you and been thinking about it through every fight, working my hardest to get back here to experience it again.”

“I didn’t know that you were such a romantic.”

“You’ll learn.”

[soapdish290]

Harrow the Ninth may be one of the best books I’ve ever read.

Under the cut for some of the questions I need the answers to, as well as me mulling some implications / potential theories.

Harrow the Ninth is horrifically, horrifically dense, and is the first book I’ve ever read that made me take actual honest to god notes on first reading, but my entire GOD is it worth while.

I’ve never ready anything with a form / point of view quite so immensely complicated whilst still adding to and complimenting the narrative. Absolutely masterful shit.

I’m going to go hog wild with spoilers under the cut.

Edited in a probably fruitless attempt to make the formatting not The Worst on Mobile

IT WAS NEVER IN SECOND PERSON OEFHAUIOFNBaufbhAPIhbaip

It was always Gideon. I kind of jokingly wondered if it was back when I first heard it was going to be written partially in second person, but I didn’t BELIEVE it!

Things we should have known

1. There are so many clues that Harrow has inexpertly switched her cognition of the very word ‘Gideon’. I mean we know she’s wiped HER Gideon out of her head way back in Chapter 2 when John talks about Harrow’s Cav, name drops Ortus, and Harrow notices “As he spoke, his mouth looked strange.” Well yes, hearing something out of sync with what’s actually spoken will do that!

But we can actually see that it’s MORE than that way back in the Dramatis Personae. Everyone has their name, written out grammatically and normally, and then we have ORTUS. All in caps.

Obviously the real tell however is the codenames in Chapter 36. We know from Cytheria’s funeral that the Lyctors are naming themselves [Necro first name] [Cav first name]. The codename’s reflect this - apart from ‘Ortus’s’, which is G.P. P for Phyrra, G for Gideon. That’s when I got it.

What I MISSED, is that this tells us, right there and then, that he was very involved with our Gideon, who is named for her mother’s last word. Her mother whose last word was for OG Gideon.

2. Palamedes knew there was a perfect Lyctorhood and outright told us way back in chapter 33. “Tell me you [became a Lyctor] correctly. [...]Tell me you finished the work. You out of everyone could have worked out the end to the beginning I was starting to explicate”. I had to stop and stare at a wall for a bit with the implications of this one, at the time.

Things we now know

1. The thing for me, the real thing, is how goddamned casually the answer to one of the biggest mysteries is dropped. It’s an afterthought. Chapter 51:

“You clawed my face so bad that my blood ran down your hands; my face was under your fucking fingernails. When I let you go you couldn’t even stand, you just crawled away and threw up. Were you ten, Harrow? Was I eleven?

Was that the day you decided you wanted to die?”

Gideon is trying to work something out. She’s trying to parse together how Harrow opened the locked tomb. The entire opening part of this chapter is Gideon’s brain, whirling, working, following the reveal that the Necrolord Undying’s “unbreakable ward” was a blood ward. Rightfully, a ‘cell’ ward. And that Gideon is God’s blood.

So what have we learned?

In order:

We've learned that only John could open the ward. That Harrow couldn't possibly. That the latter half of her life has been a tragedy based, as is oft the case, on a misapprehension.

Then we learn that God is wrong, because he doesn't understand blood wards as well as he thinks he does.

We learn at the same time, through implication, that the locked tomb is blood warded (and think back to Gideon Prime's advice to Harrow RE warding).

Then we learn that our Gideon was birthed to be a weapon used to open the locked tomb. She is the blood of God.

And here, casually, that when Harrow decided to commit suicide by ward, she did so with our Gideon's fresh blood underneath her fingernails.The locked tomb has been open for 8 years.

(as an aside this is ‘casual’ because Gideon’s entire goddamn existence has just been torn asunder by learning her parentage and hearing what might become known, in the literary canon, as The Dad Joke Undying. It’s casual and seemingly disconnected because Gideon is dissociating to FUCK and Muir is a damn MASTER of linguistic form echoing narrative function).

2. “Alecto had your eyes from the moment any of us first saw her.” Harrow, who is in love the the body in the tomb, would have seen this, too. A 10,000 year old body with the same exact eyes as Gideon Nav. Nothing specific to add here. Just... worth noting. There are potential implications.

3. Oh yeah, Wake’s spirit was in the sword as well as Cytheria sometimes. OG Gideon probably knew this when he was macking on the corpse, seeing as both he and his Cav were fucking her. Although she ALSO very much tried to kill OG Gideon, so go figure. Wake was haunting Harrow and trying to steal her body. Apparently people were having trouble with this.

Things we do not know, but would like to.

1. ‘“Augustine”, he said, “if the man you were - the man you were before you died, before the Resurrection - could hear what you just said to me, he’d tear your throat out.” Augustine said, “Thanks for confirming that.” And then he was silent.’

So, this has some pretty legit implications right? Augustine has just told John to give up on his ‘invasion force’. So either Augustine has changed over 10,000 years and John hasn’t, or else Augustine was LITERALLY someone else before the resurrection. This leads in to the next thing that I Would Very Much Like to Know:

2. What the BALLS caused the Resurrection. What WAS the resurrection. Why was it necessary. Why does John need an invasion force? What, succinctly, the fuck is going on?

3. John says that he will forgive OG Gideon for failing to “fix or put down” Harrow. A scant page later he says that he “was trying to save her”. Save her. By ‘putting her down’. That’s not the language you use for someone you’re trying to save. That’s the language you use to minimise what you’re doing. What the fuck was John doing. Who was he manipulating. He told Harrow he wished she was his daughter. He asked OG Gideon to try and kill her. Why. What the fuck my dude.

3. The Stoma at the bottom opened for John. They’re only supposed to open for the Resurrection Beasts. “some kind of heinous underworld that only opened for the undead souls of monstrous planets”. What the fuck IS John, at this point? I can’t help remember that he had bodies and souls left from the Resurrection - he used them at the start of the book to rejuvenate the Ninth House and ‘buy’ Harrow. I’m reminded of Teacher from Gideon, who was 50 men. Of Harrow herself, who is 200 children. How many is John? Cytheria said she was doing her work on behalf of the 10 billion. The population of earth in the presents near future? of the solar system? Going back around to an earlier point, WHAT DID JOHN DO.

4. Gideon-in-Harrow is saved by the body. By Alecto, who speaks “with the wrong voice twice removed”. Whose voice? Why is it wrong? Who is she talking to when she asks for chest compressions? I assume she’s with Blood of Eden? With the Sixth and Coronabeth?

5. The Harrow who wrote the letters still knows more than we do. She knew that Camilla was around, that Corona was, that Judith was. She knew enough to know that Judith would need to be muted instantly.

6. The Epilogue. To me the implication is that they have Harrow’s body, but do not know who is driving. They give the bones and the sword, and look for a reaction.

7. Gideon’s body. Where is it. The assumption is that Blood of Eden have it. Why.

8. Oh, Gideon outright states that Ianthe was playing games with Harrow, up to and including lying about seeing Cytheria’s body under her bed (fucking nightmare fuel right there by the by). Not surprising, but oddly specific if just doing it for shits and giggles. Could just be that Ianthe assumed Harrow was doing all the made shite on her own and just egging her along, could be something else. Doubt we’ll find this one out, I’m probs overthinking.

I’m definitely missing a lot. I could also list the fucking effortlessly cool shit that keeps happening in this book, but this is long enough.

[brain-jarred]

Prologue, part 1

BREAKING NEWS Miracle Heroes Save Town from Unexpected Catastrophe August 19, 1989 

Today, our city experienced an event like no other—a giant, mutated squid attacked the city, shocking the people and sending the town into chaos. The squid seemed bent on attacking the people, who all tried to escape as it wrecked buildings and crawled its way through the streets, separating families.

 It seemed like it would be an impossible thing to defeat, as no human had ever encountered such a beast. However, today, a miracle occurred. While everyone in the town was running for their lives, five brave souls came to the town’s rescue. 

Being on the scene myself, I was stunned as I watched these five heroes come together with unique abilities I’d never seen before. I documented everything I could from the battle in hopes of sharing just how unique and incredible of an experience it was: The five heroes seemed to show no fear against the gigantic squid as it shrieked and threw its tentacles around at them. I watched a tall, green-skinned creature run circles around the squid at an unnaturally fast speed—I could hardly see them at all. This frustrated the squid, causing it to continue letting out horrible shrieks as it tried to keep up with him. Another one of the heroes, a rather muscular hero, used what appeared to be super strength to grab onto the squid’s tentacles and hold them down, making it harder for the squid to attack the heroes and cause even more destruction to the city. 

Meanwhile, another hero, a red-head with scruffy hair, appeared to use a deep red liquid to blind the squid, making it all the more difficult. The final two heroes, who appeared to be twin heroes, as they were wearing the same deep blue costumes and had the same dark, curly hair, seemed to be levitating objects at their command. At first, they were levitating chunks of buildings to help hold down the squid’s legs, but once the squid was subdued, they switched to using a long strand of wire from a telephone pole nearby to tie the squid, making it impossible for the squid to attack at all and ultimately defeating it. 

The people of the city were absolutely shocked. Nearby, I could see mothers with their children, the mothers looking incredibly worried as they tried to comfort their babies, but the young children looked something even more than inspired. Superheroes, as I had always thought, were supposed to be stories for children of that age, but now, I’m learning that they’re more than that. With whatever that monstrosity that attacked our city today was supposed to be, I’ve learned that superheroes are indeed very real, and I’m sure this won’t be the last we’ll see of them. I feel honored to have caught one of the heroes in the blue suits. He informed me that his name is Justice, and his teammates include Hemo-girl the blood manipulator, Atlas-man the strong, his twin who shared his ability, Clarity, and Vrain, an alien creature with inhuman speed. According to Justice, this group of heroes will not be leaving us anytime soon. Together, the five heroes make up the Meteor brigade, and theyre here to protect our city.

BREAKING NEWS Anniversary of the Meteor Brigade’s Formation August 19, 1990 

Today marks the anniversary of the Meteor Brigade’s first rescue of our city and their continued work to keep our city out of harm’s way. Just today, I watched from the sidelines as they fought a mutant pigeon. I watched its huge wings batter as the Meteor Brigade worked flawlessly to contain it. Vrain worked to get innocent civilians out of risk, saving kids that had ventured curiously towards the team of heroes and other people who could not save themselves. 

Meanwhile, the rest of the heroes worked together with smiles on their faces and laughing gleefully as they easily subdued the pigeon, eventually causing it to be lying on the ground with its wings around itself while the five team members stood in front of it, looking triumphant. Over the past year, the team of heroes has been idolized, with many people of all ages showing their support for them through posters and parades and other events. Recently, a mural was completed on one of the walls of the city buildings. It is a mural of the Meteor Brigade with all five members looking upward. Behind them is a background that looks like outer space, and above their heads written in fluid cursive, it says “Thank you Meteor Brigade!” with a heart afterwards. 

Though the Meteor Brigade was at first hesitant to say much in public, they have grown since then, with some of the heroes even coming to school to proclaim how anyone can be a hero, even if they’re not a superhero like the ones from the Meteor Brigade. I myself attended one of these conferences, which Justice, the leader of the group, was speaking at, to hear the words for myself, and I found them to be quite endearing and well-chosen. 

I could see kids’ eyes were wide at the sight of one of the Meteor Brigade superheroes speaking to them, and afterward, it took all of the teachers’ efforts to keep them from swarming the poor hero. It has become quite clear that we are very lucky as a people to have the Meteor Brigade among us. Without them, we would be practically defenseless against the horrifying beasts that have come to plague the world.

 It was announced recently that research is being done on the mutated creatures to find out why they keep coming to existence and attacking the town, but nothing has been found just yet. While we wait to find out more about the horrifying creatures, we should all give our huge thanks to the Meteor Brigade for one whole year of repeated rescuing of our city and saving of lives. It was a miracle that they came to us on this day one year ago, and it is a miracle that we still have them now. Thank you, Meteor Brigade, for being so brave and saving all of us from unimaginable destruction. We couldn’t possibly thank you enough for your contributions to the protection of our town, but we can try our very best. Come attend the Meteor Brigade anniversary parade on Main Street this Friday! Admission is free!

BREAKING NEWS Meteor Brigade Named Public Heroes, Ceremony this Saturday May 7, 1991 

After once again saving our town from another mutant creature—this time a mutant pig—the Meteor Brigade is finally receiving an honor they more than deserve. Just a few hours after the large animal was subdued, the mayor held a conference that was aired on the local news station where he declared that the Meteor Brigade has done more for our city than anyone has ever done for perhaps any city in the world, and he named the five Public Heroes, a declaration that was met with much applause and cheering from his audience.

 The mayor addressed the last two years of the team’s rescues with a smile on his face and gratitude in his tone, saying that the five were all blessings from a higher power, and even if we don’t know much about the mutant creatures, we are lucky to have the Meteor Brigade and their unique abilities to keep us safe from them. 

According to recent research, it has been found that the mutant creatures appear to be normal animals with altered DNA, but so far, no one has found out how these creatures’ DNA have been becoming altered. There are theories that include a secret mastermind capturing animals, experimenting with them, and releasing them, and even theories about the mutant creatures being alien lifeforms, but no proof of these theories has been found just yet. I tried to ask Clarity what she thought of this theory when I came across her earlier today, and all she had to tell me was that it could be a possibility, but she and the rest of the team are unsure and need some time to do their own research.

 I asked her if she thought that they would eventually have an answer for why the mutant creatures were rising, and she told me that there must be an answer out there somewhere, and the Meteor Brigade was determined to find it for the good of humanity. Hopefully, with the combined efforts of scientists and the team of heroes, we can have an answer for this mysterious phenomenon that has been wreaking havoc to the city. Even with the looming though that someone could be causing such massive destruction on purpose, it is time to take a brief break from chaos to celebrate. As the conference was too soon after the Meteor Brigade’s most recent rescue, they could not attend, but they have been invited by the mayor to come to a celebration on Saturday to officially receive a token of thanks from him. The ceremony will be at the local park, and there is a $5 per person admission fee. 

There will be food, art, rides, and most importantly, the Meteor Brigade themselves. It is unknown if the Meteor Brigade will be allowed around the general public due to their status as celebrities in the city, but they will all be able to be seen walking onstage to receive their honors from the mayor. Don’t miss this big event! Come to the ceremony to give the Meteor Brigade the thanks and honor they deserve—it will be a spectacle to behold, just like everything else the superhero team does.

[hesesols]

Into the WILD

Day 16 of Ichiruki month 2020

Trapped inside fantasy MMORPG. Send help please?

Rating: T

FF/ao3

.

The first thing that strikes him as odd is that the ground underneath him is dewy soft. Not that the carpet in his tiny student accommodation isn't soft. It just isn't as soft by comparison and doesn't smell so strongly of grass and urgh- he hates pollen with a vengeance.

It makes his nose itch like mad and –

Wait!

Last time he checked summer was already over and the northern hemisphere was entering early autumn.

.

Brown eyes open in alarm.

The sun is in his eyes as he sits up and he's lying in a sea of golden tulips and ruby red camellias, blades of grass and crushed flowers under his fingertips.

He isn't alone.

There are others next to him. Each one garbed in unusual medieval clothing- intimidating-looking armours with spikes and brightly-coloured capes, fur-trimmings and equally garish-looking armbands; brandishing weapons that range from claymores to wooden staffs. Everyone seems to be in more or less the same state of disbelief and wide-eyed amazement at their new surroundings.

Where are they?

And holy shit! Is that a real-life armoured bear?

.

"You look like you could use a hand there, Kurosaki."

"Ishida?"

Ishida or at least who he assumes to be Ishida- his annoying cousin of sorts and fellow guild member- stands in front of him, offering an outstretched hand. Ichigo recognizes the voice but those pointy ears, the gleaming ivory bow that stands at a grown man's height and strange cleric-like clothing- those are definitely new. He grabs hold of it and pulls himself up, wiping at the grass stains with a fierce scowl before turning to the strange elf-like creature.

"What are you wearing?

Uryuu snorts, "I could ask you the very same question, Kurosaki."

Ichigo glances at the midnight black armour he has on- light weight, extra resistance to magic and +25% endurance to all physical attacks- wait, where did that come from?- the reassuring weight of Zangetsu in his hands-

He blinks.

.

Name: Zangetsu. Also known as: Sword of the Moon, Cursed Fang. Status: Legendary. Raid item from the Sacking of the Gollum King's Palace at Hueco Mundo. The mythical black blade forged by the Grandmaster Yhwach over the Fires of Sokyouku for a full year and a half in preparation for the Conquest of the Soul King's Throne (see also Conquest of the Soul King's Throne). Grants the wielder—

.

Reeling from the surprise, he falls flat on the grass.

How the hell did that just happen? How did all those words and background information just pop into his head unprompted? Almost like they're in a fantasy RPG gam—

"What's going on?"

Uryuu's smile is grim and sardonic, sliding the half-moon glasses up the bridge of his nose before he tells him, "Don't freak out but I think we're inside the game."

.

.

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"Anything?"

Uryuu shakes his head.

Ichigo sighs. The lines of communication are down and no one has been able to log back out into the real world since they first entered.

"This doesn't make any sense at all!"

10,000 WILD players across the world and different servers who were online and active at precisely 12 midnight that day somehow found themselves transported into the game world and trapped there as their game character persona.

They're calling it the Lockdown.

No one has a clue as to why they were the only people affected, nor do they know how they came to. One minute they were logged in, playing the game as usual; the next thing they know they're lying flat on their asses in this strange new world strongly reminiscent of the game world of WILD, as their respective game characters.

He's one of the lucky ones he thinks. As a human Swords Master, there isn't much alteration to him besides the clothes and the muscle bulk added to his physique, unlike Chad who woke up as a bear armed to the teeth with a war axe and metal gauntlets. It wouldn't have been a pleasant wake up call for anyone, much less someone who wakes up trapped inside a fantasy MMORPG.

"What about Keigo then? Have you managed to locate him yet?"

Uryuu's eyebrow twitches. The pale blue glow from his hand falters for a fraction of a second when his attention shifts to shoot his guild leader a nasty glare.

Ichigo growls before mumbling out an apology to the raven-haired Cleric. He knows of course that Uryuu is trying his best and really in a strange new world that seems equal parts deadly and fascinating, the best is all they can do.

He's just … frustrated over the lack of answers and to make matters worse, one of their own still remains unaccounted for. Out of all the guild members who decided to switch servers during the Lockdown, it just had to be Keigo- scatterbrain extraordinaire. He wouldn't trust Keigo not to get sold on some crazy-ass get-rich-quick scheme in the real world, let alone in this virtual reality full of bloodthirsty monsters just waiting to make a nice dinner out of unsuspecting players.

The double doors to his studies are suddenly pushed apart, jolting him out of his thoughts. Orihime stumbles in barefooted and narrowly avoids tripping over the trail of her druidic dress robes in her excitement. Her cheeks are flushed and the pretty flowers in her flower crown bloom and blossom in magnificent shades of pinks and violets as she makes her announcement.

"Kurosaki-kun! I have his location!"

Ichigo jumps to his feet.

.

Finally!

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It's the first piece of good news he's had since he found himself stranded here with the rest of his guild members.

"So where is the idiot then?"

Behind her, trails Tatsuki- their resident cynic and Shield Maiden who purses her lips and informs both him and Uryuu rather miserably, "You're not going to like this. He's in the Forest."

Ichigo resists the urge to face-palm as he sees Uryuu rubbing at his temple.

"Keigo must have been on his way back to HQ and decided to take the shorter route," Uryuu rationalizes things- as the team tactician he excels at it, "he couldn't possibly have known."

That's right. Keigo couldn't possibly have known that he would get sucked into the game and be left standing in place of his game character.

Tatsuki gives a derisive snort, "Doesn't make a difference. A level 25 Bard like him can't possibly survive the Forest of Hueco Mundo alone. He's going to get himself killed. The Forest is no man's land- level 70+ Hollows and player killers aren't warded out."

All eyes turn to their orange-haired team leader.

"What do you want us to do?"

Call it instincts but Ichigo has a nasty suspicion that player death in their new world would also mean certain death in the real world. The thought makes him nauseous and for obvious reasons, he isn't too keen on testing out the theory himself.

Keigo may be a pain-in-the-neck and downright insufferable at times but damn it! He's one of them. He's their pain-in-the-neck and they can't just leave him there.

In the real world, Ichigo Kurosaki may be just an ordinary university student bogged down by studies but here in WILD, he's a guild leader, it's his job to look after his guild members and he pledges to make sure that every single one of them makes it back home to the real world in one piece.

Ichigo heaves a loud weary sigh, grabbing the sleek black katana by his side.

"Let's go get our idiot back!"

.

.

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"I told you we should have gone left instead of right!"

Tatsuki can feel her skull throbbing. She should have just stayed behind with Chad and Orihime.

"Stop yelling at me! It's not my bloody fault that you're so fucking incompetent that you couldn't get a better map!"

"Oh so I'm the incompetent one?! Never mind I was the one who organized the rations! We would have starved to death days ago if I hadn't triple checked our provisions!"

Tatsuki grimaces as the feel of exhaustion creeps in as does the unbearable chaffing on her thighs. It wasn't just the lines of communications that were shut off with the Lockdown. It turns out the Portals- their main means of transport have also been disrupted and that means that the full distance between Karakura and the Forest had to be covered by good old-fashioned horse-riding.

They've been riding nonstop since they left Karakura, trading horses with NPCs in the farmlands nearby to push ahead at a gruelling pace and rescue Keigo as soon as possible. It is a noble cause but the trade-off for the weeks' long worth of hard-riding leaves the three riders surly and sullen. This virtual reality that they're trapped in certainly feels real enough, right down to hunger pangs and sore muscles.

Chaffed thighs, bland food, little sleep and the heat (the sheer humidity was making her hair frizz) made for horrible traveling condition and it seems that both Ichigo and Uryuu are about to hit their respective boiling points.

She rolls her eyes, tugging at her horse's rein to halt.

"Both of you need to shut up before –"

A sudden rustling in the bushes nearby draws their collective attention and sure enough from the depth of the overgrown bushes, a Hollow emerges. This one seems more reptilian in features, flickering pink tongue and all. Something jumps at the back of her mind but Tatsuki ignores it.

The Guide is nothing more than a useless collection of WILD lore and trivia.

She doesn't need a lecture on Hollow classes and their special attacks to know that the only good Hollow is a dead one.

With a loud battle war cry, she unsheathes her blade and leads the charge, throwing herself against the beast.

.

.

Ichigo leaps through the dense foliage with Zangetsu drawn and bloodied in his hand. Despite Tatsuki's misgivings about his foolhardy plans and recklessness, the woman is just as bad with her own brand of battle lust, leading the charge like a crazy berserker.

All hell literally broke loose the second they stormed through the clearing. The sheer number of the Hollow horde overwhelmed them and forced them to break formation and the three of them took off in different directions in a bid to divide the remaining Hollows' attention.

He ducks behind a tree to catch his breath. Having lost sight of both Uryuu and Tatsuki during their retreat, he is in a sour mood and more than a little embarrassed that a level 98 Swordsmaster like him is being forced back by a horde of weakling Hollows in level 50s.

"Psst. Ichigo."

Ichigo grips Zangetsu tightly, eyes nervously darting at his surroundings. He could have sworn that he heard Keigo's voice. Well it's either that or he's officially losing his mind.

"Over here."

A head pops out from the bushes next to him and Ichigo reacts accordingly- nearly slicing the newcomer's head clean off his shoulder and Keigo almost becomes a casualty of friendly fire before Ichigo sees through the heavy layer of disguise and stops the blade mid-swing.

"Keigo?"

The bard is barely recognizable with his slashed and dirtied tunic, patches of dirt and dried leaves covering his face.

"The fuck you doing- sneaking up on me like that! I could have killed you!"

Keigo couldn't have cared less. With a loud wail and snot running down his face, he throws himself at his saviour and professes his undying gratitude in between hiccups and tears.

"ICHIGO! I knew you would come for me! I never doubted for a second!"

"Get off me! You stink!"

The happy reunion doesn't last as the roar of a Hollow and heavy footsteps of a lumbering giant still their movements. Ichigo pushes Keigo away from him and readies his blade, but even his quick reflexes are no match for the suddenness of the attack.

"ICHIGO!"

The Hollow's swipe knocks the air right out of him and sends him flying. The tree trunk of a young sapling snaps in half as his back connects painfully with it. The pain disorients him and he is enough of a doctor's son to recognize the signs of concussion. Also, he thinks he might have cracked a rib (or two) as fresh blood- metallic in taste gurgles past his throat.

His vision clears in time for him to see the Hollow- a Dragon class one with beady yellow, thick, iridescent scales covering its front and gigantic wings sprouted at his back, rearing up for another charge.

This time at Keigo, who is down on his knees- eyes wide with fear as he scrambles to get away from the advancing Hollow.

There's no time to think. Ichigo pushes everything he has- the very last spurt of HP and MP within him towards Keigo, taking his place before the monster with gapping mouth, awaiting certain death to come.

.

.

"Out of the way!"

His eyes snap open just in time to see a small lithe figure, sunlight reflecting off the bone white armour- so bright that he squints, leaping through air and landing gracefully on the Hollow's back. A glint of light flashes yet again and before his very eyes, one of the Hollow's tattered wings is cut off, an arc of blood spurts high into the air and the Hollow's roar of anguish follows.

"Are you deaf or stupid? Get out of the way!"

Ichigo doesn't hesitate. With Keigo tucked under his arm, he pushes past the pain and sprints for the clearing.

With them gone, the mysterious stranger makes quick work of the beast, easily dismantling its other wing before diving for the kill; sinking the white blade somewhere between the soft scruff, flabs of excess skin free from the scaly armour.

Ichigo watches in silence as the dying monster screeches in pain, a swan's song in roars of fury before it topples over with dead eyes, a fine cloud of dust from where its body fell.

With the urgency of the situation gone, he focuses on the newcomer. Sheathing Zangetsu as it becomes apparent from the markings and sigil on the stranger's shield and helmet that he is a Paladin, one dedicated to the path of the light. They're in safe hands- for now at least.

"Where did you come from?"

The Paladin regards him oddly.

"What do you mean?"

.

"Princess!"

Half a dozen of swords are suddenly drawn and held under their throats by what seems to be a band of armed knights. Their armours gleam with the same bone-white shine and the leader of the men- a tall redhead with inked markings across his forehead approaches them with a fierce scowl and the intent to kill.

Next to him, Keigo yelps.

"The fuck!" Ichigo curses. His chest hurts, he's barely standing on his feet and now this?

Can this day get any worse?

.

"Watch your mouth, you punk!" The redhead growls threateningly, "You're in the presence of the Princess."

Amber eyes narrow. Did they think he's stupid? There's no one vaguely even female in their company unless—

The Paladin removes his helmet and a cascade of black hair- dark as the night pours forth. Apple cheeks, soft petal lips and elfin features curtailed somewhat by the iciness of her stare and her unsmiling face.

Their eyes meet.

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Oh!

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The short stature suddenly makes so much sense. Ichigo gulps.

"They're Heroes, Renji."

Renji scowls and gives them a dirty look.

Ichigo's eyebrows knot in confusion. "Hang on- what do you mean by Heroes and how are you a princess? Royalty isn't a job class and Paladins don't call themselves Princesses. I don't care what level you are, that's not allowed by the game admins."

The smile on the woman's face- Ichigo doesn't know what to make of it, but he thinks he's about to be made into a fool of epic proportions, especially when she pushes past her armed guards and tilts his face up by the chin with the tip of her white blade.

Smirking with dark violet eyes gleaming, she tells him, "That's because I'm not a Hero. Look closer."

Sure enough- when Ichigo focuses his gaze at her, her presence is shrouded in golden aura. The Guide pings- very belatedly and most unhelpfully, he might add.

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Name: HRH Princess Rukia of the noble house of the Kuchiki, heir apparent to the throne of Seireitei. Status: NPC

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He bites his tongue.

"B-But- but NPCs aren't sentient," Keigo blurts out.

Ichigo turns just in time to see him give out a pained yelp, being pummelled by the angry redhead, "Oh I'll show you how non-sentient my fists are!"

He winces. That looks like it would hurt… a lot. But Keigo's an idiot with thick skin, he'll live.

Rukia- her name rolls off his tongue easily. He refuses to even entertain the idea of addressing her by her royal title. For starters, a princess isn't supposed to be a Paladin, or know how to fight or use a sword, or look this good while having him at her mercy.

He gulps when violet eyes narrow at him.

"And you? Do you think that NPCs are non-sentient beings too?"

Ichigo is a fast learner and gives a quick shake of his head.

"Good-" her lips curve into a smile, hair dipping low to tease at the contours of his face as she whispers into his ear- "Because this NPC just saved your life. I'll show you just how deadly I am with my sword before you dismiss me as just another background token NPC."

The sword tip leaves his neck.

"Now, hold still."

That's all the warning he gets before a green glow is emitted from her hands- smelling faintly of mint and something fresh he can't quite name. He shuts his eyes, letting the healing magic wash over him, knitting most of his superficial cuts and wounds back into place.

When the light fades, his chest still hurts but at the very least he feels a little less light-headed and breathes a little easier despite the pain.

He wants to thank her- both for her healing and her timely rescue from the Hollow but she refuses to meet his eyes.

"Renji," she barks at her captain of guards who immediately stands to attention.

"Take them with us. He needs a proper healer. I can't set his broken ribs."

"It's Ichigo!" he calls out, interrupting their conversation and earning himself a hard glare from Renji but Rukia's gaze is almost thoughtful.

"Can you still ride, Ichigo?"

He nods.

A horse is brought to him under Rukia's instructions and as soon as he is properly mounted with Keigo seated behind him, the woman sounds the horn, black hair unbound and flailing in the wind as she leads the company into a gallop.

"To Seireitei!"

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FF/ao3

Review, like, comment or reblog to send some love my way pretties~~~

I have a thing for fantasy AUs. Can’t you tell? Click on link for rec list of some off-main Isekai/Game animes. I have a special place in my heart for them.

[findingtheperfectcharacter]

Logan’s Lowdown’s Typed

A complete collection of Logan’s Lowdowns from the episode. Now in a format that I tried to make readable, but since I threw it all on one post it’s probably still not great.

(13:26) "It would be" directly after Patton says that it'd be unethical to buy frogger when he could be giving money to the homeless

(13:30, said aloud) "It's just me, Logan. I have taken this form because I did not want to be too invasive. (Thomas asks what he's doing) "Well determining what feels right or wrong for you isn't really my area of expertise. Seeing as how there's not much left at stake at this juncture and that regret is unfortunately not an experience that can be expedited. I decided that I need need not expend too much energy on this matter.

(13:50 cont from 13:30) However I felt like it would behoove all parties if I provided relevant information to serve as supporting evidence to any of the arguments that are made during today's discussion

(14:08, after Patton suggested his 'factoids' were optional.) *Facts, factoid was a term coined by Norman Miller to describe false facts invented by magazines in order to manipulate the readers  And yes I suppose they could be viewed as optional, those two options being informed or ignorant (14:35) "Thank you Thomas It-

(14:49-14-50 cont from 14:08) It would be an estimated annual cost of 20 billion dollars to eliminate homelessness in the United States according to Mark Johnston, the acting assistant housing secretary for community planning and development. Americans spend more than 20 billion dollars on Christmas decorations and flowers every year. So it would seem that many Americans do have the currency to spare to end homelessness in America forever

(15:16 cont from 14:50) Similarly if every US household were to give up just 1% of their wealth, than that would be enough to end homelessness in the United States for the next 50 years

(17:18, Roman talking about saving Leslie Odom Jr from the Scute bellied beast) Scutes are the short, wide, rung-like scales on the underside of a snake

(18:38, The difference between helping people out for the sake of it and saving people for a reward.) A study was conducted at Berkeley that looked at the correlation between an individual's happiness and the amount of selfless acts they preformed. This was done by comparing three groups. 

Group A was not instructed to preform any acts of kindness, while group B was instructed to meet the quota of 5 acts of kindness within a week. Group C, however was required to preform all 5 acts of kindness within one day. It was found that groups B and C (both of which preformed acts of kindness) saw an increase in how they rated their own happiness. But the most significant increase was in group C (5 acts of kindness in 1 day.)

(20:43 After the trolley problem scene) That scenario was an illustration of the classic philosophy dilemma, the trolley problem. "Trolly problem" is a term coined by Judith Thompson, who also devised its two most famous variants. The "Footbridge" and the "Switch " (the latter being the version that was just demonstrated.) 

(20:55 cont of Trolley problem) The Trolley problem is intended to raise questions about our moral priorities: is it more important to minimize causalities or is it more important to strictly adhere to ethical rules? (The notion that it is wrong to kill another human being in particular). 

(21:06 cont of Trolley problem) Furthermore the Trolley Problem asks us to examine the distinction between actively killing someone, and passively letting someone die.

(21:57 Patton says the ‘how’ and the ‘why’ of flipping the switch matters) What Patton is saying here ties into the principle of Deontology. Deontological ethics prioritizes specific duties above anything and everything else. A value system that is perfectly summed up in expressions such as, "duties for duties sake" and "let justice be done through the heaven's fall."

One of the duties that Patton's appealing to (which I already mentioned earlier as it is the most common argument leveled against redirecting the train in the trolley problem) is the aforementioned ethical rule that one should not murder another human being, even if one finds oneself in a n extremely specific set of circumstances in which homicide preserves more lives than terminated.

There is a natural tension between deontology and consequentialism, as deontology determines whether an action is right or wrong without much consideration of the ends of said action. Furthermore, the deontologically inclined might concern themselves with the intention behind a given action a given action. (a factor that would be completely disregarded by a consequentialist) 

Deontological perspectives were first defined by 18th century German -

(23:08 Patton asks what real Philosophers would have to say about his viewpoints. Said aloud) Well, Freidrich Niezsche really wouldn't have been thrilled with anything you've had to say. Primarily because Pity seems to be at the center of your idea of "putting good into the world". Niezsche famously rejected the idea notion that pity was a virtue. He once claimed that pity 'runs counter to the instincts that preserve and enhance the value of life.' So Thomas is-

{Everything under this point is Janus disguised as Logan.}

(26:54 After Patton suggests that Thomas shouldn’t dedicate too much of his time to frivolity. Said aloud) I have a difference of opinion on this one, Patton. I’m sure we’re all somewhat familiar with the tired metaphor for self care you must put on your own oxygen mask before helping fellow passengers. An analogy that warns against the practice of helping others with their personal issues when you yourself are in need of help.

It is ironic that that illustration’s so overused at this point because it has almost become as easy to tune out that advice as it is to tune out the actual safety instructions on a flight. Easy, and very dangerous. In the event that a plane cabin becomes depressurized, you do not have long to secure your oxygen mask before you risk your oxygen saturation levels dropping too much leading to hypoxia (which is just insufficient oxygen for life functions.)

Hypoxia’s symptoms can include: an inability to communicate, confusion, unconsciousness and possible death. Having heard a piece of information before does not give you licence to ignore it in the future. Especially when the consequences of forgetting are so perilous. 

(28:16, Patton talking about how he’d totally let Thomas self-care in that sort of extreme situation. Said aloud) And just like all of the moral dilemmas we’ve been discussing, it can seem easy to confidently state what you would do in a difficult situation, without knowing how you’d legitimately behave when your instincts take over. 

In theory you believe Thomas can and should take some time to care for himself, but every point you’ve made in this discussion has contradicted that sentiment. 

(28:44 after Roman asks how Patton’s points have been contradictory to Thomas taking care of himself. Said aloud) Nearly every answer Patton has given to moral questions throughout this discussion has suggested that a moral life is a life without spending surplus capital and time on leisure activities. 

Dr. Robert A. Stebbins defined leisure as “... activity engaged in during free time which people want to do and... actually do in either a satisfying or fulfilling way (or both).” Leisure means freedom, its your time and you do what you want with it, which in turn contributes to a feeling of control and improved self-esteem.

 A lack of control, and self esteem are two factors that you all now understand can worsen Thomas’s relationship with intrusive thoughts-- and they have. Additionally, doctors Iwasaki Messina and Hopper wrote that leisure time promotes a joyful life, and if that wasn’t enough pleasurable activities stimulate the production of neurotransmitters which can than improve one’s physical health.

Leisure is something Thomas needs more of in his life in order to feel like he has a life and Patton is essentially suggesting that Thomas isn’t being as good of a person as he’d like him to be if he doesn’t sacrifice himself for others. 

(29:56, after Patton says that isn’t true. Said aloud) Oh, is it not? Please correct me if I’m wrong (Patton says that he’s wrong) So if it was between Thomas’s life or another’s you don’t think Thomas should give his life up? Oh and this other person is an innocent little lamb. Or how about a group of innocents?

(30:40 Patton’s breakdown about not knowing in that kind of scenario what’s right or wrong. Said aloud) You don’t know? Earlier you said that all people naturally understand right and wrong. So? Should Thomas die so that others may live?

(31:32 while Patton’s offering a new Trolley problem with Thomas on one track and Lee and Mary Lee on the other. Said aloud) ENOUGH! This isn’t working. This entire conversation has become so muddled due to a constant misleading, misues of “conscientious” language. You’ll need a sharp side to cut through all this conscientious bull-frog.

{Logan’s back in these lines}

(36:24, Logan’s back! Said aloud) Not that any of you care, but I’m unharmed, and I don’t want to talk about it. I’m just here to deliver you one last fact than I will do you all a favor and spare you my company.

Peter Singer is an Australian Philosopher and activist who champions the movement known as ‘effective altruism.’ The primary feature that differentiates effective altruism from other moral philosophies is its practicality. It employs the heart AND the mind so that effective altruism can earn its namesake and actually... Be effective. 

The aim is to help as many people as possible while maintaining a ‘perfectly adequate standard of living.’ So a poor, sick person giving 5 of their last 15 cents to an aid organization, while incredibly altruistic is not effective altruism because that money won’t go very far. And the act would only harm that person’s already unacceptable standard of living. 

Fellow effective altruist Williams Macaskill recommends people who can and are inclined to should go into fields like banking or finance because more money earned means more money to give. (After Thomas adds that he needs to give himself a buff) And you need to maintain an adequate standard of living. You can’t forget that part. If the variety of generosity in your life is leaving you depressed, or like your life isn’t your own than you need to reevaluate things. 

[storyskylings]

(I am currently describing skyling culture in their "stone age" - I haven't decided how their future history will turn out, so please take all the below as descriptions of their culture a century or so after they evolved complex language.)

Note on pronouns: Skylings do not have gendered pronouns. As discussed, I used a random number generator to pick universal she. More discussion of this will be in future posts.

Note on numbers: skylings have four toes on each foot and so they count in base eight, rather than base 10 like we do. Our figures of speech reference multiples of ten ("that'll just make it ten times worse" or "if I've told you once I've told you a thousand times") but theirs reference 8, 64, 512, etc. This is the skylings’ First Story:

Do you know the story of the first egg, which broke into three pieces?

The first egg broke into three pieces, and out of the first egg hatched the night. She cried out for her parents to bring her food. But they did not come, for there was nothing in the sky but her. She cried “Why was I hatched, if I am alone? Where are my parents?” but there was no answer. And she thought “Perhaps my parents have been eaten. I must grow strong, so I can fly to find my kin and not be alone.” What did the night do then?

The night ate one piece of the first egg. And she grew larger, and she could spread her wings and fly, and she flew across the sky seeking her kin. But she could not find them, for there was nothing in the sky but her. She cried “Why was I hatched, if I am alone? Where are my kin?” but there was no answer. And she thought “Perhaps my kin have been eaten. I must grow strong, so I can find my roostmates and not be alone.” What did the night do then?

The night ate the second piece of the first egg. And she grew larger, and she flew across the sky to find her roostmates. But she could not find one, for there was nothing in the sky but her. She cried out “Why was I hatched, if I am alone? Where are my roostmates?” But there was no answer. And she thought “Perhaps everyone has been eaten. I must grow strong, so that I can find a way to die and not be alone.” What did the night do then?

The night ate the last piece of the first egg. And she grew larger, and she flew across the sky to find her death. But she could not find one, for there was nothing in the sky but her. She cried out “Why was I hatched, if I am alone? Where is my death? Will I suffer for eternity?” but there was no answer. She screamed "I am alone!" until her chest burned with pain, but there was no answer. She screamed for so long that her voice was almost destroyed, and the words were almost gone from her. What did the night do then?

The night longed for anything that would ease her suffering, so she imagined what it would be like to not be alone. She imagined that she had been raised by her parents, that she had hunted and played with her kin, and that she had told stories with her roost. She imagined that she had a beloved to preen, who would lay eggs so that she could raise chicks. And these story filled her at once with so much joy and sorrow, that she cried out with the last words her voice could make "Do you know the story of the night who was not alone?"

And in telling this story, she called it into being. And back came the answer "The night was not alone, because the day saw her, and she admired the night's gorgeous darkness and the sparkle of her stars. And the day said to the night that she was the most beautiful thing that could possibly exist. And the day asked if she could preen the night. What did the night reply?"

The night was so filled with joy that her voice returned "The night replied that the day is a liar, for she claims the night is the most beautiful thing that could possibly exist, even though the day is eight times more beautiful than she is. Yet the night will forgive these lies and allow the day to preen her." What did the day do then?

The day enveloped the night in her wings, and she preened the night and the night was hidden behind the light of the day, and it was the first day. And the night lay under the wings of the day until she had forgotten all her loneliness, and then she said "Do you know the story of the time the night preened the day?"

And the day replied "The night covered the day under her wings and preened her, and the day was filled with joy." And so it was that the day and the night preened each other. And the sky was light when the day preened the night, and dark when the night preened the day. And after many days and nights, the night felt spring come upon her, her testes swelled and she felt the mating-need, and she said "Do you know the story of when the night mated with the day?"

And the day was also overwhelmed with the mating-need, and she replied simply "Yes." And they mated again and again until the need ceased to burn inside them. And the day felt an egg form inside her, and so the day and the night build a nest and when the egg was waiting to hatch, the night said "Do you know the story of our egg, which will hatch to be a creature of extraordinary beauty?"

"Our egg will hatch to be a creature of extraordinary beauty. She will be perfectly round, and it will be covered in waters that sparkle and teem with fish. And amongst the waters there will be land, that is covered with trees for roosting, and berry-bearing and nut-bearing plants, and sky-beasts and ground-beasts. And who will tell the story of our child?"

"The sky will be filled with Skylings, and we shall give them the gift of storytelling. And they shall live upon and above our child, and see by my light and sleep by your darkness. And every night when we switch places, they shall tell the story of our child." And the story called the earth into being, and it was so.

Now I have told you the skylings' first story, let me tell you how they tell it. Stories like this are always told by pairs. As you can see, it is set in question-and-answer format. All stories begin with "Do you know the story of" and then continue as an exchange between the two narrators who end each paragraph with a question (until they reach the final paragraph, which ends with a statement to make it clear the story is over.) They are oralpoetry/ songs/ raps (depending on what words you like to use.) Something I didn't have the energy to produce in English is that all stories have a rhythm and whenever one skyling is speaking the other skyling is using a wooden hammer to play on a lithophone (see here for more information on lithophones and here for a cool song played on one - the ones the skylings use are very simple, typically with only 4 notes).  The heavy use of repetition is a common feature of oral poetry (the repetitions in the Odyssey and Iliad are an artefact of coming from an oral culture.)

Stories are always told at twilight. In the spring and summer, skylings live with their kin (groups of 16-32 related individuals) and very young babies are fledged. During this time of the year, adult crows will tell stories to the young crows to teach them the art of storytelling. Older children will sometimes tell practice-stories during this time, though they don't tell them at the large autumn and winter gatherings until they reach adulthood (around age 16).

During the autumn and winter, these smaller groups meet together and roost in large groups, like actually existing crows do. (More information about skyling family structure will be in the next post.) Storytelling is a form of art and entertainment and re-tellings of myths and legends are common (both as a way to impart skyling spirituality and values and simply as an enjoyable way to pass the time) but more pragmatic stories are also told. "Do you know the story of the trees to the south west, which have lots of berries ready to be eaten?" etc. Storytelling skill determines a lot of your popularity, social status and sexiness in skylings culture and having the verbal dexterity to come up with a good freestyle rap about finding food and avoiding predators makes everyone like you more - especially your storytelling partners. Telling a story together well is a great bonding experience, and doing badly usually leads to fallings-out. Typically audience standards are higher for retelling of myths and legends (which can be told any time and practiced arbitrarily long) and tend to be more forgiving towards rhymes about how the nut-harvest is going this year, but storytellers are always expected to keep the rhythm going and be coherent.

Any two skylings can tell a story together, though it's most common for it to be either a pair of beloveds or similar-age kin (siblings or cousins.) At roosting time, the roost goes around each kin-group in a specified order and any pairs from each kin group will speak. (When friends from neighboring kin-groups tell stories together, they speak with whichever kin-group is first.)

Storytelling is also done at particular ceremonies - weddings, funerals and trials (more on this later.)

Skylings also believe that a well-told story can being something into being, just as it did in the First Story. Skyling parents will tell stories over their egg (just as the day and the night do in the myth) - that it will hatch to be healthy, survive to adulthood and be a good hunter, a good parent and a good storyteller, and these stories are told in the same way (though the lithophones are usually omitted). Skylings also pray to the day or the night  for various things in this form (which means that praying for anything is a two-person activity.)

(Just in case this isn’t clear: skylings do converse in “normal” non-metrical speech when they are chatting amongst themselves. Storytelling is just super important.)

So, that's the first post about skyling culture! Questions and comments are appreciated, though I can't promise prompt answers.

[hjertetssunnegalskap1]

3. Sources of Inspiration - Neil Gaiman’s Masterclass (The Art of Storytelling)

“Remember that your influences are all sorts of things. And some of them are going to take you by surprise. But the most important thing that you can do is open yourself to everything.”

Here are some more of my personal notes to The Art of Storytelling. Neil Gaiman uses a lot of allusions (references to other stories) in his stories, and they are just as wide-ranging as his storytelling interests (oh yes, one of the things I LOVE with his writing).

Neil mentions his admiration for the following authors, and sometimes alludes to them in his own work: 

James Branch Cabell: American author who wrote fantasy and comedy in the 1920s and '30s. 

Edward Plunkett, Lord Dunsany: A prolific AngloIrish fantasy author. His novel, The King of Elfland’s Daughter (1924), established some of the most central themes of fantasy writing in the twentieth century

Ursula K. Le Guin: American author who wrote the Earthsea Cycle (1968-2001), which is comprised of six books and numerous short stories, and which tells tales of the fictional fantasy world of Earthsea

P. L. Travers: British author who wrote Mary Poppins (1934) and a whole series of books inspired by it

Btw I love that he mentions how he was inspired by Lou Reed. And how his wife, Amanda Palmer, was inspired by Judy Blume. Inspiration can come from many places, and not just from the ones we think of as our writing heroes. That makes me think of all the music I have listened too, and how I’m influenced by that. Oh well. 

Old stories can be approached from new angles. Create a compost heap of inspiration and how to draw from your experiences to make a story uniquely your own.

All writers have a mental compost heap. We create our compost heap from everything you see and the people you encounter.

Don’t tell people how they should feel. Tell them what happened and let them feel. 

Tell stories about the people around you. Real people are more interesting than anything you could make up.

For story ideas, you can take fairy tales but flip the perspective: eg, from her Stepmother’s perspective, Snow White could be a villain, a vampire princess, with a necrophiliac prince, and the stepmother is a HEROINE for trying to save the world (I remember I read a flipped Cinderella horror comic once when I was a kid, and I still remember it… so.. he has a point, this is effective). 

Neil suggests many tools for approaching an old story from a new angle. 

Change point of view.

Modernize themes

Switch a story element (new location or new type of story)

Make it yours

‘Where do you get your ideas from?’ is a real question. Authors are scared of  answering because they often don’t know the answer themselves.

Ideas come from daydreaming. “The only difference between writers and other people,” says Gaiman, “is that we notice when we’re doing it.”

Ideas come from asking yourself simple questions, like “What if…?” (“you woke up with wings?... your sister turned into a mouse?....), “If only…” (“a ghost would do my homework”) and “I wonder….” (“what she does when she’s alone”), etc…. These questions, in turn, generate other questions.

Ideas are only starting points. You don’t have to figure out the plot. Plots “generate themselves” from “whatever the starting point is.”

Ideas can be people (“There’s a boy who wants to know about magic”); places (“There’s a castle at the end of time, which is the only place there is”); images (“A woman, sifting in a dark room filled with empty faces.”)

We get ideas from confluence — two things “that haven’t come together before”, coming together (“What would happen if a chair was bitten by a werewolf?).

“You get ideas from two things coming together. You get ideas from things that you have seen and thought and known about and then something else that you’ve seen and thought and known about, and the realization that you can just collide those things.”

For a re-envisioning of popular fairy tales, check out some of the following titles (damn I need to get some reading done):

Red as Blood (1983) by Tanith Lee 

Tales of Wonder (1987) by Jane Yolen 

Snow White, Blood Red (1993) by Ellen Datlow and Terri Windling (ed.)* 

Kissing the Witch: Old Tales in New Skins (1999) by Emma Donoghue 

The Wilful Eye (2011) edited by Nan McNab (ed.) 

Happily Ever After (2011) by John Klima (ed.)* 

Clockwork Fairy Tales: A Collection of Steampunk Fables (2013) by Stephen L. Antczak (ed.) 

Unnatural Creatures (2013) by Neil Gaiman (ed.)* 

Beyond the Woods (2016) by Paula Guran (ed.)* 

The Starlit Wood (2016) by Dominik Parisien and Navah Wolfe (ed.) 

The Djinn Falls in Love and Other Stories (2017) by Mahvesh Murad and Jared Shurin (ed.)

WRITING EXERCISE: Choose a folk tale or fairy tale that you know well. Select one of the characters from the story for the following exercise and write a few pages about them, using one of the following prompts: 

Pretend you’re a therapist treating the character. Write a scene in which you discuss the character’s life and problems, then arrive at a diagnosis. 

Write a newspaper article describing the events of the story. For example, Snow White—Woman Hiding in Woods for Ten Years Found by Wealthy Hiker. Then write a story for that headline using journalistic objectivity. 

Have your character explain their actions to a jury 

WRITING EXERCISE In your journal, begin creating a compost heap. Title a page “Compost Heap” and write down the things that have captured your attention in the past week or month. These may become the source motivators of your writing, maybe of your career. Any writing project is an undertaking, and novels in particular, because they take so long to write, will require a sustained interest, so be sure to fill this page with your truth: What interests you? This can be anything: a word, a movie, a person, an event, so long as it inspired you. It can be subjects (cactus species, muscle cars, a voyage to Mars) or people/types of people (therapists, spies, your Aunt Germaine). Try to include things from other arts—for example, foods, music, or movies. In the beginning, make a practice of sitting down at least once a day to note things that interest you.

FOR YOUR NOVEL Create a specialized subset of your compost heap, which is a lexicon devoted exclusively to your novel. For example, if you’re writing about Greenland, gather all the words you can about snow, ice, flora and fauna, geologic formations, or weather occurrences. Research history and arts and science. Write down all of the words you love and that you think could go into your novel

Lesson comment:

Another really inspiring class. I have listened to this one several times already, and I seem to get new associations every time. Also, this is not the first time I have heard about the trick of twisting ideas around, and still... it’s a good thing to be reminded of. 

Wow, I somehow missed the exercises in this class (I’ll blame my undiagnosed ADHD). I’ll definitely look at those exercises. 

I also have this fairytale/ folktale idea in my “compost heap.” Actually, I have two ideas, but the newest one is a spin on two Norwegian folktales called “Kvitebjørn kong Valemon” (White bear King Valemon) and “Østenfor sol og vestenfor måne” (East of Sun and West of Moon). These tales are related to the myth of Eros and Psyche, and also to the story of Beauty and the Beast. I thought it could be interesting from the point of view of the so-called jealous third part of the story. Maybe. I might also try to twist a simpler folktale first, maybe one with the Ashlad (Norwegian folktale hero), from the princess’ point of view. I think it could be fun to play with those ideas + read some of the suggested literature. 

[greekbros]

"The Seven Ronin and the Seven Pearls" by Kiri Suikessho

(this is a Fairy Tale style story staring the Seven Swordsmen, the names have been changed for the purpose of creative writing choices. But if you know the characters, you should be able to tell who's who. There is no romantic subplot, not shipping, just a story)

Once in the land hidden in the mist, there was seven ronin. The ronin would roam the countryside in the search for bounty and opportunities of earning their profit. Each ronin had abandoned their own names in favor of titles that would strike fear into their enemies. The ronin would go on many quests to achieve personal tributes of of money and pleasure. These were not simply samurai, for they were ronin for a reason, these men were a vicious, barbarous lot who were deemed “too monstrous to be proper samurai” by the shogun. So they were banished from the court to roam wildly like the beasts they so boastfully behaved like.

There names were Spider, Rat, Fox, Tigar, Boar, and Dog. Their however, leader kept his name, his name was Samebito. A man who’s towering height would call attention first, then his beastly appearance of that which would be comparable to a sea monster with his sharp teeth and pale bluish skin. Unfortunately, because of his inhuman appearance his chivalrous, gallant nature would be rarely appreciated, only to his fellow ronin could see this side of Samebito. As for his fellow ronin, their appearances were less fortunate with their sharp, filed teeth and their roughed vagabond complexions. Spider, an equally tall yet gangly, lanky fellow with long but fluffy hair that could be used as garrote wire yet somehow is able to be just charismatic enough to find a fawndulf but misguided girl for him. Rat, a one eyed, salty drunk whos thirst for sake can be as ravenous as his blood lust. Fox, the son of a nobleman who seems to be fueled by sibling rivalry with his equally if not more conniving brother than noble ambition. Tigar, a handsome but dubious man who was trained by an onna-bugeisha who mysteriously vanished one season ago. Boar, once a lowly lumber man drafted into a civil war now retired ronin, who only serves to make sure these band of beasts still retain some shred of decency. Lastly was Dog, he was born into a cruel and unforgiving world of thieves and criminals, whom later learned the ways of the warrior to exact his revenge on cruel tyrant but failed to defeat him. In the worst of times these men would fight each other with effortless force, but in the best of times they are mindful allies in their foggy world of life and death. They would gather during the late winter to spend their three seasons hunting for profit and return to their homes in the late fall.

One of their occasional traditions before they head out to their nearly year long journey was to have the seasonal feast of oysters in late January, when it was the peak season to eat oysters. The ronin would gather at a special beach that Samebito knew about in his early youth. One this particular time, after a rather frustrating year of personal service, Samebito had become wary of his fellow ronin. He did not feel distrusting of them, he merely felt that a test was imperative. He knew only too well that from experience as a leader, nothing is as undesirable as unfaithful comrades. As the other ronin gather around in their usual formation after each of them contributed in collecting the oysters, Samebito ancoused a new part of his tradition.

“My comrades and brothers at arms, I have known you all for many years and yet I'm curious as to what the future holds for each of us. May I propose a game?," he casually declared. “It’s a silly little bit my own father did with his own fellow ronin…” Samebito concluded.

The others became curious to this unusual proposal on the account that Samebito was not one to play games...but nevertheless all the other ronin became intrigued.

“Tsk, what kind of game are we talking about? Are we playing ohajiki with pearls?”, Spider cynically asked. He liked playing tricks but he was not in the mood to dine and play.

“Will it be a drinking game?”, Rat yarped with mild zeel in hopes to a quick drink of sake to pair with the oysters.

Samebito nodded his head to both questions. Samebito took a deep breath of the salty air of the beach they’ve gather at. He knew what he was about to purpose was likely going to change the course of the ronin’s lives.

“The game will include pearls...but only the ones you all find. The first pearl you find, you have to keep at all costs, any pearls after that will be placed in this old bento box”, Sambito placed an old wooden bento box in the center of their group, “however, you will keep your first found pearl….or else” Sambito clarified with assertion.

    The other ronin could sense a grave tone in his voice, the tone of a man who was suggesting something with a level of risk….or reward.

    “Samebito, we have come to this beach for years….why have you decided on this game now….and just before we are about to enjoy our meal?”, Dog asked with a feather of suspension. He has never questioned Samebito before, but something told him heed his words.

Samebito simply tried to sincerely smile but it evolved into an awkward and toothy grimace. “It is simply to satisfy my curiosity….that's all.”, he answered. Samebito picked up the first oyster and said, “Now then, let’s eat”.

    As the others were eating, each other them found a pearl. Spider was the first to find a pearl, but it was a misshapen pearl with a subtle green undertone. “What an ugly little thing”, he thought to himself. He looked to see if Samebito was paying attention to the others, but he was enjoying his meal like everyone else. Spider had a brilliant idea and formulated, “I’ll find a nicer pearl to my liking and I’ll toss the ugly one into the box”. He quickly hid the first pearl, found a bright white pearl and tossed it in the bento box. Samebito did not notice the switch. Yet after this, Spider tossed every pearl like he was instructed to.

    Rat had eaten several oysters before he remembered Samebito’s rules of his strange new game and he had already gathered a few pearls in his hand. He did not remember which was his first pearl and thought, “damn it all, I don’t know which is which….I guess I’ll just have to pick the first one I touch, maybe that will count?”. He closed his eye and picked a randomly selected pearl from his hand to keep and tossed the rest into the box. He would have never known that he had chosen poorly and tossed his first pearl into the box with the rest.

    Boar had kept his first pearl, but he believed in humility and modesty. “If I place all the nicer pearls into the box and keep the least appealing, maybe the prize for this game will be better” he reluctantly bargained to himself. So he collected his pearls and found a small, shriveled, hideous little nugget that less remember a pearl and more resemed a small pebble. He kept it and tossed the rest.

    Fox was surprisingly fortunate to find two pearls in his oyster, but the rules were one must keep only one and it must be the first no matter what. He decides to keep both pearls because he concerned both pearls the first pearl he found. Little did he know, he may have never had a choice.

    Tiger's pearl was a deathly reminder of his previously murdered sensei, his pearl was a deep blood red, just like his sensei’s hair. He could not bare to look at his guilt in spherical form as if even the gods were mocking him. He hid the pearl until he found the next pearl to replace it, then tossed his blood pearl into the box.

    As this was going on, Dog had no luck finding any pearls until his last oyster. His pearl was as small as a mustard seed but as glimmered with silver and gold it was as if there was star in the palm of his hand. He was frankly surprised to have even found a pearl, he looked at the collected pile of pearls in the bento box and felt disconcerted about his find….as the others would put two or four at a time, he only found one….and it was his first. So he kept his as he was instructed by Samebito.

    When the bounty of oysters finished, Samebito then went on to purpose the second part of his game. “In spite of our traditional schedule, I purpose we have a year of indepence. We should see how all of us fair divided...”, he declared, “...again it for my own curiosity..so may I see you all next late winter for oysters”. Samebito then gathered his things as he was about to leave he heard Boar confront him.

    “What is this all about, Samebito? What is the purpose of this nonsense game of yours? You’ve always been a man of tradition...why change now?”, Boar harped.

    Sambito could not simply tell his fellow swordsmen that this was a test of trust, but he did have to do it. “Well Boar, it is simply that...a nonsense game for which you all must abide to the rules….I bid you all farewell until next late winter.”, Sambito than walk away into the thicket and disappeared into the shadowy green.

    The rest of the ronin were baffled, did their own leader disown them? Has their time as band of vagabonds end? They all stood looking at each other, pondering as to what events had lead up to this moment.

    Dog stood up and boldly stated, “I believe, we should trust Samebito, maybe this is just a change we have to accept….maybe its a test...but if you all want any of my useless input….I think we should still trust in Samebito’s words and meet up again next time….maybe there is a purpose to this nonsense.”. The other ronin stood disgruntled and frustrated, they did so well as group but now they must fend for themselves until next late winter...but they had no other choice but to heed Samebito’s instructions. They all nodded in agreement, and went their separate ways.

    As the months went…..so did mysterious tribulations. In the month of late January when the oysters were at their peak, Sambito sat on the sandy beach...waiting for his fellow ronin. A rustling from the forest broke the silence, revealing Dog, who was now draped in a fine silk kamishimo that embodied the mist and dreary shores. Samebito’s eyes lit up with seeing at the very least one of his closest comrades. He stood up, presenting a greeting bow in respects to Dog.

    “Ah my friend, looks like time was more than charitable to you.”, he chuckled with surprise.”Tell me, are the others coming?”

    Dog’s greeting smile shifted into a look of sorrow and grievance. “I have some….terrible news. They others have fallen over the course of the year….they sadly won’t be joining us…”, he sighed with burdening mournfulness.

    Sambito however, was not surprised to hear this. He was apprehensive to accept the fate of his comrades, but he knew this was expected.  “Then, weave me their stories...so that I may satisfy my unfortunate curiosity after such a long year.”, Samebito mournfully requested.

    Dog began to tell what he had gathered throughout the year after their separation. “Well, Spider was the first to go, a little bird told me that he was spirited away, his corpse was found near a river..some say they saw him get attacked by a beastly looking creature. The villagers believe a vengeful spirit took him. Then again, he wasn’t very fair with the women he would meet...one in particular was extra fawned of him...but she couldn’t bare to be rejected”.

    Samebito rubbed his stubbled chin thinking, “..did he not have a girl who died of a broken heart two years before?” asked Dog.

    Dog nodded yes to Samebito’s observation. “Rat died shortly after, but he drowned in a sake barrel...it's a shameful way to die in my opinion”.

    Samebito chuckled and encouragingly commented, “Well that is probably how he would have wanted it knowing him, he did have a hearty thirst for fine sake”.

    Dog chuckled but still felt that the gallows humor was not that best way to remember Rat. “Fox that foolish boy, he and his brother were at it again when he perished…both of those brats decided to duel to see who was the best with a set of nunchucks…his brother got away with bruises and Fox’s prize was a cracked skull….died in seconds.”

    Samebito scoffed at this, “well well, that’s what he gets for playing with a dangerous weapon”.

    Dog shuffled his legs for a more comfortable position. He continued, “Tiger's death was rather strange...he was killed by a pack of wolves, specifically a blood red she-wolf. The villagers in his village went to his badin to gather his things...and found a skull with red hair still attached...who would have known?”

    Samebito nodded in disapproval….to samuri, nothing was more shameful than killing your own sensei. He took a deep breath and told the last story, “Boar was the last one to go….a villager from his village told me that he invited a wandering traveler into his home, it seems the visitor...was a bounty hunter looking for his head, he was the most honorable of all.”

Samebito then raised his hand for Dog to stop, “You’ve done well...so tell me, how are you here?” he asked.

Dog looked to the sea and gave a smile. “The day we parted ways, I wondered the land for days until I came across a damsel in need. She was kidnapped by a gang of thieves, I slayed the thieves and rescued her. She later told me she was the apprentice of a powerful medicine woman. Her master told me that if I was allowed to take her hand in marriage if I presented a star...then I remembered my pearl...a tiny little thing at first but when I took it out to present it, it was the size of a peach and brighter than before….I not only gain love but I have become fortunate...how...could this have been possible?”, Dog turned to Samebito to find the Samebito surrounded by a divine aura. “What the? What are you?!” he exclaimed.

“My name is Samebito Futsushi, god of storms and the ocean, I have been looking for some worthy mortal to bless the gifts my nindo, my warrior’s way...and you my dear friend...have passed my test. Thank you, comrade”. As he finished, the wind blew and Sambito became mist, leaving Dog to be the new holder of his nindo.

[puclpodcast]

Pokemon Draft League Discussion with OldManTup

Pokemon Draft Discussion with OldManTup

To listen to the full interview check out the link below.

  Clod9: Today I’m interviewing OldManTup about his experiences in Draft League. How Many draft leagues have you been in?

OldManTup: I started off in the GBA, I did a few stints in the PPL D2, I was in the NSTL, another i can’t remember, the NPA so at least 5.

  C9: Which out of those was your favorite draft league?

Tup: The one i can’t remember i had a really good team. It was relatively broken and under appreciated. I really liked my run the NPA the Season I was there. A lot of really good people play in that league and I made my first playoff run.

  C9: What do you think is essential to a good draft? Something you would always want to plan to have on your team?

Tup: When people ask me what people should look for in their draft the first thing i tell them is to establish what your particular playstyle is going to be in the draft. It doesn’t matter if you have the 6 most broken mons the league you draft in, if they don’t fit a playstyle that you are effective utilizing you are not going to be successful. You might win some matches , but all in all you are not going to enjoy the way you play and you are not going to have the success you should despite how good you draft. Someone from the league (PDL) asked my that question and they showed me a draft plan. I was like, “This is the team that you presented, this is how that team is going to play. Is that your playstyle”. That was something they hadn’t thought about. That is something that happened to me the first times I drafted and I struggled. I struggled hard. I was drafting good mons as opposed to drafting mons I’m familiar with or that fit a playstyle that I am comfortable with. To finish off this question with a story. If I were to sit down and make a draft plan. I like bulky mons. I like having switch ins to everything. Mons like Hippowdon, mons like Zygarde 50% (Which is banned in PDL). Mons like that. Mons that can take a hit and sustain themselves. Those are the cores of my team. As well as pivot mons so volt switch and u-turn. Those are the things i look for when building a team. So you need to make a list. These are the thing I need on a team to be successful. Then pick what you think is most important to you. For me If I see Zygarde 50% in a league, granted I’ve only gotten it twice, but it’s a mon I know is successful and I can run with. Another mon I like to draft first round is Excadrill. It has fantastic typing, underappreciated bulk with its hit points. Even without sand support it can fit on most teams.

  C9: You have a really interesting take on what is essential for a good draft. A lot of the times you hear you need a couple things that can set up rocks or mons that can get rid of hazards. Which makes you pick specific mons versus what you are saying which is to pick to your playstyle.

Tup: Now for a lot of people that is high on their priority with. It is just my specific playstyle. I don’t 100% need SR on one of my top value mons in order to be successful in the way i play. I don’t draft mons that are weak to SR so hazard removal isn’t high on my list. If the people drafting are use to OU then that is going to be higher up on their list of thing than someone who just plays to the beat of their own drum.

  C9: What’s your worst habit you have when preparing for a draft?

Tup: My worst habit when trying to prepare for a draft, is leaning to hard on the people who are helping me with my draft. (Front Office). A lot of the times when I’ve drafted not to my playstyle, I’ve leaned too hard on the recommendation of the people who drafted good mons for my team and not good mons for me. A good example, is the GBA D-league S2, when M&J TV was debuting in draft format. He was paired up with MegaMogwai (Who was a coach at the time). Mogwai drafted him a beast of a team. But it wasn’t a team M&J TV could play with so he struggled. It depends on what you plan on going into the league to do. Are you going to have fun, hang out with friends, or are you going to be more competitive. I try to balance them both but the competitiveness usually ends up a little higher. That’s why you have to draft a team that you enjoy because you are going to have to enjoy it whether you win or lose. You don’t want to sit there with a team, shaking your head asking yourself, “Why did I draft all these pokemon” A lot people can fall into the trap of, “Oh this is really good. A lot of top draft competitors take it so I’ll be successful with it.”

  C9: What would be your Round 1 Pick 1 if you couldn’t pick Zygarde 50%?

Tup: It depends on the league that I’m in. A lot of the leagues that I’m still affiliated with, I’ve been with for so long that I’m familiar with the draft tendencies of the coaches I’m playing with, That I know when i can let something that in one league i have to pick in Round 1, I can let slide a few rounds. In the GBA particularly one that comes to mind is, my favorite mega to draft in Ultra Sun Ultra Moon, is M-Beedrill and that never ever gets picked.

  C9: Why do you like M-Beedrill so much?

Tup: M-Beedrill has like 130-150 attack plus adaptability. So you have Adaptability U-Turn and that does so much damage. My last match in the UUTC was against J3di DJ. I had M-Beedrill out and he had Galvantula. Granted I was Adamant M-Beedrill but it clean one shot it. I just wanted switch priority. I think it’s underrated. It doesn’t have the best coverage and has maybe 3 sets but its so good. Especially in draft. There are not a lot of things on every team that are common counters to what M-Beedrill brings to the table. Most teams have 1-2 things that stand in the way of M-Beedrill setting up and just crapping all over a team. This isn’t the case for OU since Lando or Celesteela Counter it.

  C9:  I know you were a part of the NPA which is a 24 person draft. The PDL is the same with a 24 person draft with is very different between the standard 16 team draft. What are the main differences you’ve realized between the 24 person draft and the 16 person draft?

Tup: The things I’ve noticed; The more people you have in a draft the sooner you want to pick your low tier value mons. Usually they stack the upper tiers and the lower tiers (T4, T5) are just filled with the leftover stuff and nobody has anything. There are 3-4  good mons, Don’t get wrong there are good mons, but the crem dela crem stuff that you want that can fit into a team you might have to take Rounds 3,4,5 as opposed to letting it fall to your 7,8,9 pick. Other than that you don’t plan heavily when you have a draft of that many people, cause if you over plan, you are redrawing your draft plan 3-5 times in a single round.  

  C9: Where do you want to be placed in a draft/ Where do you think is most optimal ?

Tup: Optimal is either the wheel picks, First or last, or relatively close to that because generally you are getting relatively close picks. It’s forever between you next picks but you have guaranteed a pair of mons that you can pair together, that give you an optimal synergy for your team. I’ve noticed that when I’ve been there, it’s easier to build a more synergetic team. Opposed to when you are in the middle of the draft, and I’ve been there and I hate it, it’s like you get to pick 1 mon and you have to hope that something that pairs well with that mon is available 16 – 30 picks later. You find a lot more parody in a league with more people, because no one ends up with a really broken team because they got good picks in the draft.

  C9: Is there any pokemon that you’ve hated going up against or causes annoyance?

Tup: It usually is something i like to play with. Gliscor is what first comes to mind, cause if you have a competent opponent it will just ruin your day, unless you happen to knock it’s toxic orb off or burn it when it switches in the first time. It gets healing through that. Sustainability through roost. It’s 4x weak to ice but if the guy has a good draft it is just one of the mons that doesn’t have to be terribly bulky cause it has enough speed and power and can just rain on your parade.

  C9: The first thing that comes to my mind is Mamoswine because I find between the ground and ice moves most teams don’t have a good switch into it but onto a different topic, What advice do you have for people that are on a losing streak, especially if you start off behind.

Tup: I actually have a lot of experience on this topic because I am the all time losingest coach in the GBA. The first season I only had 1 win and i won a crit. One of the last seasons i was win less. I never made playoffs in the GBA and I think the best I’ve done is an even win loss record. But i mean, Keep your head up. Learn from your mistakes. All i can say is watch your replay. Figure out where you went wrong and try to not make that mistake again. There are some matches that you are not going to win based off your teams match up vs another team. There was a team in the UUTC, one week where i was looking and the guys team and I thought, “Unless the guy plays (t)rubbish I’m not going to win.” It wasn’t that i didn’t have confidence in myself it was just the 10 he had vs the 10 i had , I just didn’t have an answer for certain mons. Keep your head up and push on through. Understand that nobody is perfect and nobody wins all their games in these formats. Make it learning experience and try to come back better the next week.

  C9: Who do you think is the best player  for someone new to watch to learn about draft league format and it’s strategies?

Tup: There are a couple of people that come to mind. First is Pokeaim, if you don’t know him or heard of him your head is under a rock cause i think he is the most popular and successful person when it comes to what we do on the youtube. Another is PokeMEN aka John. He just became PG so you can watch it with your kids. He is very good about explaining what is going on in his matches. El Scizor from the GBA, if you can get through his thick German accent, he is very good, especially with his team builders. He usually has very detailed descriptions and shows his evs on screen. He almost always goes through explaining why things are the way they are. Gym Leader Geo is one of my favorite people I’ve ever played draft format with. He always plays so unique it’s someone you can watch to get a better understanding of how to put unique techs into your team that will help you beat things. (Check out https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IVZvUG-ic34 from the GBA Season 5. It’s one of the best cases of using a unique set to beat a team)

  C9: What is a mon you think is underrated in draft league format?

Tup: The first one that comes to mind, because it is one of my favorites to use is Miltank. Miltank is almost always nestled in T4,T5 and it is SO good. It plays the cleric role, it sets rocks, it has 100 base speed and it’s a tank! IT can set up, it has thick fat and sap sipper. You are stacking resistances on top of your self. Ice and fire are usually two of the biggest weaknesses you have worry about synergy wise and having a Pokemon in your back pocket that can resist both of those and is only weak to fighting which is super easy to overcome in draft league. I love it. I can sit in there for day and heal up, or curse set up, and even body slam to spread around that yellow magic (Paralysis). Another mon, is Mismagius. That thing needs a team around it. It doesn’t work on every team. It has 105 speed, and insane special bulky which is overlooked. It has just enough special attack to be useful, and can calm mind or nasty plot up. I think it’s undervalued and when put in the right team in an attacking role it can just drop bombs.

  C9: Besides the GBA Season 9 are you in any other leagues and will you be uploading more draft content to your youTube?

Tup: Not currently. The only other league im active in is the NPA and I don’t think they are coming back until Gen 8. While I’m in the GBA and NPA I try not to do too many other things since they are large platforms and it takes a lot more time to provide the content that that platform requires.

  C9: As a parent, and a Pokemon fan, have you brought the world of Pokemon onto your children’s lives and do they enjoy it?

Tup: My older daughter does more than my younger daughter. My older daughter is a spitting image of me when it comes to things in nerd culture go. We all go out and do Pokemon GOing together, we always try and do the community days. For those that don’t know my children are soon to be 13 and 8. My oldest daughter plays the game, not competitive, just enjoying the game the way it should be enjoyed.

  C9: Do you ever show them your video and get their feedback?

Tup: My oldest daughter is subscribed to my channel and watches them but not so much. She isn’t huge into competitive battling. It’s more like, “Dad you have this pokemon on your team and it’s cute,you should have used that one” Which makes perfect sense.

  Now for the lightning Round!

  C9: What is your favorite region?

Tup: Kanto

  C9: If you had to pick: Attack or Special Attack?

Tup: Physical Attack

  C9: What is your battle style:  Stall/Hyper Offense/Bulky Offense/Balance?

Tup: Balance with a dash of switch initiative

  C9: Do you prefer Speed or Trick Room?

Tup: Speed

  C9: What is your favorite Weather; Hail/Sand/Rain or Sun?

Tup: Sand

  C9: Electric/Misty/Grassy or Psychic Terrain?

Tup: None, They all suck and I hate them with a passion.

  C9: Favorite status to inflict: Sleep/Freeze/Paralysis/Burn or Poison?

Tup: Yellow magic all day every day!

  C9: What is your favorite draft league story?

Tup: IT was in the GBA and it was only my favorite because it was successful. I was playing against Foofoo who was a coach in the GBA at the time. He had a crobat and it was his last mon. I bluffed the entire match that I was scarf heracross and it wasn’t. I had 3 left and he had 1. He was just convinced that he was getting a stone edge to the face and i clicked Earthquake. He was faster than me and went for roost. So he grounded himself and I went for Earthquake. I didn’t enjoy it nearly as much until I watched it. He live records so i got to see his live reaction when he uploaded his video. I’m not good at bluffing i’ll be 100% transparent with that and it worked and he was just aghast that he was faster than me.

  C9: Thank you very much for joining us this week and pick your brain on draft league.

Tup: No problem, I just want to let all the PUCL Draft League competitors to know I wish you all luck in the upcoming season. Hopefully if the stars aline I’ll be joining you in the next season and we will get to play each other. IF you have any questions, not that I’m a super expert or anything I’ve just been around the block, hit me up. My DMs are always open. Some of you already have, but feel free if you need. Don’t ever be afraid to reach out and ask for help.

  To listen to the full interview see the link below:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6JFSyBSrr0&feature=youtu.be

from Pokemon Draft League Discussion with OldManTup

[fightwrestlewin-blog]

Welcome Everyone to the Return of The 10 Count! The 10 Count, is, as you know, the home of interviews w/ the wrestling stars you love, and love to hate! The gentleman I will be interviewing today most likely is in the category of love to hate. He is the brains behind The Establishment in Frozen Tundra Wrestling, based in Wisconsin. The man known as Mr. Business Draven Stryker! Today we will delve into many topics including his upcoming match against Chase McCoy, as well as The Establishment got started, & we will also probe into his mind, his heart, his soul & into his briefcase to finally find out the answer to the question... what is in that briefcase?

The 10 Count ~ Just recently I, myself, stepped into the Shack in Fond du Lac, Wisconsin & when I did I stepped into a Frozen Tundra Wrestling event where I was introduced to a faction by the name of The Establishment! It was a faction which made me want more! I loved every single thing they did. Not many other people felt the same as me though because they are the bad guys, they are the ones who you love to hate! I am just odd in that way, the ones I am supposed to hate I love. Today I am sitting down with the brains of The Establishment Draven Stryker, first off Mr. Stryker, thank you for agreeing to do this interview w/ me today here on The 10 Count! I'd like to start first off by asking you how did you come to Frozen Tundra Wrestling & how did that lead to the formation of The Establishment?

Draven Stryker ~ No problem Daniel. Thank you for having me. Normally I don’t do anything like this, but you seem to be intelligent enough to get it so here I am. Now, to answer the first part of your question I’ll keep it simple. I know the owners. Some of the current members of The Establishment had contracts through me and as a result I’m there. To answer the second part, I’ve been building The Establishment over the last two years. It’s taken a lot of time to go over contracts and talk with workers and to make sure that I have a good plan. I’m a fan of The Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase, and I wanted to create this powerhouse of a stable. I was trying to figure out what I would call it. I wanted it to be something that was associated with me. The Million Dollar Corporation worked for Ted because of his gimmick. I needed something that worked for me. After a long while trying to come up with a name, I reached out to a couple of friends in the business and only one name I got stood out. And that my friend was The Establishment. I won’t take credit for coming up with the name. I’ll give credit where credit is due. And that credit is to Mikey Heckin’ Wild.

The 10 Count ~ The Establishment has of course the 151 Champ in the fold, that of course being James Vincent Brown, do you consider him the leader of The Establishment or do you consider yourself the leader? Do you both ever clash with ideas of who to add to the faction, or who, maybe, to kick out? Ever fear that he may try to kick you out?

Draven Stryker ~ Plain and simple. I am the leader of The Establishment. James and I are brothers and business partners. We talked for a long while and I guaranteed that he would be the FTW 151 Champion. And that’s exactly what happened. Sure, he did lose the championship a month later to Joey “Jet” Avalon. However, I’m a business man and I seen opportunity. Roadhouse was upset that we weren’t able to keep it. But in typical Mr. Business fashion, I had a plan. I invoked my clients rematch clause right after the match, and that idiot Avalon accepted. Now making my client, Roadhouse James Vincent the two-time FTW 151 Champion! We do however talk strategy a lot and he does have some input in the group. I take everything to consideration, but at the end of the day I have the final say. And to set something perfectly straight, no one is going to kick me out of The Establishment. I created it. Plus, I have the money!!! I make the rules!!!

The 10 Count ~ I look around The Establishment & I see some formidable forces, including Garrisaon Creed who I spoke with at length at FTW, his tag team partner, Ruff Crossing as well as the newest member of The Establishment, Thomas Walton the Third, better known as TW3! Are these men recruited for The Establishment to make The Establishment better or to make sure that they are out of JVB's way & don't have to worry about them challenging for the 151 championship? You are a smart man so I am sure that thought may have crossed your mind.

Draven Stryker ~ All of these men are close friends of mine. These men have been hired to make The Establishment the most powerful faction in professional wrestling. Period. If anyone from within The Establishment climbs the ladder and earns a title shot, then you bet your sweet ass they’ll get it. Even if the title changes hands, it’s still a win win for The Establishment. As long as we control the championship, it doesn’t matter who has it in the group. And there would be no hard feelings within, because at the end of the day it’s just business. Right now my vision is with Roadhouse being the champ, but anyone in The Establishment can be champion. I hand pick the best. Only some sign with me, and as you can see I’m not doing too bad.

The 10 Count ~ I just talked about the recent acquisition of Thomas Walton the Third, better known as TW3. Lots of fans were shocked, surprised & taken back by seeing TW3 joining The Establishment. I would like to ask you about that cause if I remember correctly not only were the fans shocked that night but J Cash who was sitting ringside definitely looked shocked as well! How did you keep it such a secret that he was joining The Establishment & how did you convince him to do so? I can honestly say, no one, including myself, saw that one coming!

Draven Stryker ~ Well Daniel, there comes a time when you realize what you really want in life. I’ve been in talks with TW3 for a while now with him declining every time. I’m not going to go into details now because TW3 will address the crowd with The Establishment this Saturday night in Fond du Lac. Let’s just say that a switch flipped with his last loss, and he realized that the grass really is greener with Mr. Business and asked if the offer still stood. It couldn’t have came at a better time because well, let’s face it. You were there. He was a perfect fit for the situation and it definitely helped The Establishment make an impact that no one seen coming. A wise man once said, “Everybody’s got a price!”

The 10 Count ~ We have talked a lot about the men of The Establishment, lets take a moment to show appreciation to the women of The Establishment as well before we move on to the biggest thorn in your side in FTW, Chase McCoy. Sierra & Vanessa Azure The Millenials & the woman who accompanies The Establishment down to the ring Vianna Rose. Lets start with Vianna, at FTW she was in everyones corner, along side you & made sure to be there for everyone possible! The Millenials Sierra & Vanessa were focused on taking down the Maidens of Iron, which they have been trying to do since April 28th 2018! What is it about the Maidens of Iron that just gets under the skin of the Millenials and what role does Vianna Rose exactly play for The Establishment? How did all three women come to be a part of The Establishment?

Draven Stryker ~ Well, with Miss Rose she was under contract with Simon Sez. A former member of The Establishment. She was part of his deal initially, but she has other skills that I capitalized on. Basic office stuff. The stuff I don’t feel like doing. And when Simon got kicked out of the group, she had a choice. She could go with him, or she could stay with us and be successful. She obviously decided to stay.

As far as the Millenials, they are fresh. I heard that Melanie Cruise and Stacy Shadows were  starting their own team and I wanted to find them some competition. I know Vanessa & Sierra were a tag team in RCCW and knew these hungry women could take out the beast. I knew with my leadership that we could take them down and make a name for ourselves. We’ve won some. We’ve lost some. It’s been a great feud and I think we still have more in the tank. Hopefully there will be some big things in the future.

The 10 Count ~ The Establishment stands together against any and all foes and now on the 15th you have been challenged by Chase McCoy for a match, which you accepted as long as it will be a handicap match. It is now a 3 on 2 handicap match, yourself, Garrisaon Creed & TW3 taking on Chase & Ben McCoy! How can you prepare for the McCoy Brothers & is it simply a numbers game or is there a chance that the McCoy Brothers could find themselves at some point in the ring, all alone, with you and only you?

Draven Stryker ~ Do you think I’m an idiot Daniel?! I’m not telling you our strategy for our match!!! Next question.

The 10 Count ~ Okay, moving on from that question. If I didn’t try to ask that I wouldn’t be doing my job. Before we talk about the future of The Establishment and close out the interview I would like to ask you something that I wondered about the entire time at Frozen Tundra Wrestling. Every single time I saw you you were carrying a briefcase, so, my question is, what is in the briefcase? Is it contracts? snacks? sunglasses so after Melanie Cruise breaks them you can put on another pair? What exactly is in the briefcase?

Draven Stryker ~ Well, it does vary from time to time. I usually carry paperwork, which would entail drawn up contracts. I’m always doing business, and I always want to be prepared. Sometimes it’s stacks of money. Sometimes it can be your average house bricks. Just ask Chase McCoy about that.

The 10 Count ~ You are one of the main ones who uses social media to promote not only yourself, and your matches but your clients as well. This week while making the videos for your match on the 15th you wore a very interesting shirt. The shirt simply said Stacy Knows, that of course I know is a shirt of Stacy Shadows, one half of the arch enemy of The Millenials. Could this be a foreshadowing to us seeing Stacy Shadows turning on her partner & joining The Establishment?

Draven Stryker ~ Well, honestly it just happened to be the shirt I was wearing that day. But you never know. Anything can happen in this business, but I wouldn’t count on it. They have been rivals forever and they’re going with a different direction. They are a great team. But at the end of the day, The Establishment will come out on top.

The 10 Count ~ 2018 is about to end & 2019 is going to begin. I want to know what is the goals for The Establishment in 2019, especially what is your goals? What does Draven Stryker want to accomplish in 2019 in FTW and elsewhere?

Draven Stryker ~ The goals are simple. Dominate. Grow. Continue success. Roadhouse will still be the Frozen Tundra Wrestling 151 Champion going into 2019, and you can bank on that! We are also working on staying in contention for the FTW Frozen Few tag team championship. By this time next year, The Establishment will hold all of FTW’s championships. I want to be the best agent/ manager in FTW and anywhere else I can get work. I won’t say with who right now because the deals aren’t finalized yet but, I’m in talks with a few different feds in the state. Once my name is signed on the dotted line, I’m sure I’ll go public about it.

The 10 Count ~ We are at the end of the interview and before we end this amazing interview I would like to give you the floor, the ring if you will. I want you to tell the fans anything you would like for them to know. I also would love for you to tell the fans where they can find you on social media & how they can show you and The Establishment support in 2018 and 2019. And once again, Thank you for coming onto The 10 Count & doing this amazing interview with us!

Draven Stryker ~ Well it’s like this. Come out to the show this Saturday night, December 15th at The Shack Bar in Fond du Lac and witness me (with Creed & TW3) beat the McCoys and where I finally put Chase down like Old Yeller. The Establishment will stand tall, and there is nothing anyone can do about it!

As far as my social media goes, anyone can find me on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

Facebook: Mr. Business Draven Stryker Facebook: Mr. Business’ The Establishment

Twitter: @dravenstryker

Instagram: mrbusinessdravenstryker

Currently I’m working in FTW, but that will expand. You can follow them on Facebook and Twitter also.

Facebook: Frozen Tundra Wrestling Twitter: @FrozenWrestling  Instagram: frozentundrawrestling

Thank you Daniel for choosing me for this interview. I appreciate this opportunity. You can interview me anytime again in the future. And a very special thank you for supporting The Establishment. I really appreciate it. See you Saturday! The 10 Count ~ There we have it! My interview with the one and only Mr. Business Draven Stryker! This Saturday Night at Frozen Tundra Wrestling at The Shack in Fond du Lac, Wisconsin everyone who is local & can attend should attend as Draven Stryker will be teaming up with Garrisaon Creed and TW3 to take on the McCoy Brothers Chase and Ben McCoy! Who will come out on top? Will The Establishment prevail? We will all find out Saturday Night! Thank you everyone for reading this interview with Mr. Business Draven Stryker! There is already more interviews scheduled & ready to take place, stay tuned to find out who will be appearing next on The 10 Count!

[aialsosleptwith-blog]

Latest sex toys in 2018 | Sex toys | Sex life | I also slept with

To say that day to day life can be exhausting, demanding, and sometimes downright stressful is a severe understatement. It happens to the best of us, some more often than others. Luckily, there are many ways to unwind. With all the hassles and dealings we go through on a daily basis, it isn’t uncommon for sexual frustration to build up, and we all know that bottling such emotions isn’t good for anyone. This is manageable for people who have a significant other, but what about the ones who prefer to fly solo? Sex toys might be the thing you need. Now, this isn’t to say that couples can’t benefit from sex toys either, after all, a little spice under the covers might be what you need. You never know, the beast within might need a little push, or in some cases thrust, to be released. 2018 is the year of breakthroughs. Unfortunately, the advancements of sex toys don’t move as fast as technology. That doesn’t mean 2018 so far is entirely barren of innovations. On the flip side, it doesn’t take a lot of imagination to realize how the advancements of technology and other fields of science benefit of this industry. Such improvements have given the more classic toys a few upgrades, which we will talk about in detail a little later on. Let’s go through some of the newer playthings all of us may be able to make use of from time to time.

Most people have their first encounter with sex toys while they’re exploring themselves in their formative years. More than likely, they will be familiar with dildos and vibrators, and that is why it makes sense that Lush is the first to be mentioned. At first glance, it just looks like a somewhat standard vibrator, but the secret lies within. Lush isn’t only able to connect to the iPhone, but the Apple Watch as well! The latter is especially useful if your partner prefers a more restrained performance in public. The strength of the vibrations is nothing to scoff at, either as they do pack a powerful punch. In fact, on the highest settings, it actually can move from place to place due to the sheer power. So let that serve as a friendly warning. The best part is that the strength can be controlled via an application.

Let’s sidestep for a bit and talk about pornography. I promise this is related. For most of the casual audience, at least in the United States, Naughty America is a household name for quality, albeit vanilla pornography. Virtual reality has taken great strides since its consumer release a few years back, and Naughty America has created something the inner teenager in us has wanted for years. On its own, it just seems like a standard pornographic video, albeit more immersive. But what separates this from a glorified POV video? Well, when you pair it with a smartly connected toy – and yes, those exist, like Lush – well, you’d be forgiven for thinking you were there. While it does still need some fine-tuning, it’s something new, and to be honest, pretty adventurous. In a good way. It would be nice to see more developers (or producers?) putting out more content for this format, as it not only makes things hyper-realistic but can also be an excellent way to take some load off your chest when things get hard.

If you are someone who thinks that having to hook up a virtual reality headset and attach quick connectors to sex toys is just too much trouble, you aren’t alone. Many people probably feel the same way. Sometimes, we need something that gets the job done, but doesn’t necessarily skimp on quality either. Unfortunately, this next item was designed for male pleasure. Sorry, ladies.

While you have probably heard of a Flashlight, the Flashlight Launch Pad is what the company is calling the upgraded version. But what does the Flashlight Launch Pad have that its older sibling doesn’t? Not a lot, to be honest. At its core, it is merely an adapter that connects a male masturbation device to an iPad. It may sound silly, but having your hands free or otherwise does wonders for many reasons we don’t need to get into detail here.

For the ladies, here’s a product that will make up for the last one being almost male exclusive. Do you have a roommate or live with someone nosy who likes to get up in your business? Fortunately, some discreet options exist as well. The Tingle Tip Toothbrush Attachment Vibrator is merely an accessory for your electric toothbrush. Luckily, most of you probably already have electric toothbrushes. While it won’t be as heavy duty as other alternatives, it looks relatively conservative, just in case, it does get spotted. The Remote Control Vibrating Thong is another option for someone looking for ease of access virtually anywhere. The best part? It is quite powerful without the added bulk of what proportionate power you’d expect from a device of that stature. It comes with as much as five settings for vibrations, this way you can switch it up from time to time.

One of the more portable ones we’ll talk about will be the Hello Touch. In fact, it is so compact that it is considered one of the smallest of its kind. Small batteries fuel it, and it features two little things that its makers call vibration pods that are neatly encased in silicone pads. While those do sound neat, the real star here is the device that controls it. It is controlled by a toggle on a wristband, that way you virtually go hands-free when things start getting heated up. Butt plugs are something any gender can enjoy, regardless of what people tell you. The Luxe Jewelled Butt Plug with Rainbow Crystal is a no-frills, barebone butt plug.

Does it have any of the newer bells and whistles you’d see from over the top companies? No. What it does feature, however, is three sizes. That way newbies and veterans alike can work their way up the ladder instead of diving, you might not come back from. If you’d like something a bit more colorful for your partner, though, then the Silicon Bunny Tail Butt Plug might be your cup of tea. Yes, it is the same thing, but this fuchsia colored butt plug has a cute bunny tail attached to the other end to make it look adorable. Does it add any function to the butt plug? Of course not. Does it have any real-world use though? The answer to that question depends entirely on your imagination. Like butt plugs, the strap-on is an absolute classic when it comes to sex toys. It seems pretty straightforward, put it on then enjoy it. Love honey’s take on the more traditional strap-on is a bit different though. While it does share a lot of its physical appearance from a standard strap on, this one comes with a built-in vibrator function. They claim to deliver superior penetration. If you think that is impressive, you haven’t even seen the sizes they offer. They have varying sizes that reach up to 10 inches, and also look and feel realistic.

For the most part, we’ve talked about toys just about anyone can enjoy. Whether or not you can consider this a toy is subjective, but what we can all agree on is that this is nothing short of astounding. By now, you have probably heard the term sex robot being thrown around from time to time. Some are just blowjob machines hunched forward to hide the fact that the budget was blown on the facial features, and you’ll see a husked shell beneath the clothes. The breakthrough for this year, however, don’t just show a full body. Along with that body comes full body functions and the movements are supposedly more fluid than anything we’ve seen before.

Realistic, one of the more popular firms that are spearheading the industry of sex robots, is introducing the new product sometime in 2018. These robots can talk, follow orders, and remember the things you don’t like and don’t, and they don’t look too bad either. The kicker here is that they have an app where you can customize the personality of your robot, so you’re never out of options. A dominating force or a submissive slave is just a click away. While there are a plethora of new options to choose from in this day and age, and with each passing iteration improving upon the last, things can get a little confusing, especially when you’re still new to the world of sex toys. A lot of people tend to be shy to just be associated with the words sex and pleasure, how much more if they have to walk into a physical sex toy store and bring out a purchase?

It is important to note, though, that it isn’t the device so much as it is the person using it. Sex is a normal occurrence in the circle of life. Everyone deserves pleasure every now and then! Remember, there is entirely nothing to be ashamed of, and as the saying goes, “Anything is a dildo/vagina if you’re brave enough.”

[news47ell]

Lightning Base Review: Managed WordPress Hosting

New Post has been published on https://www.news47ell.com/reviews/lightning-base-review-managed-wordpress-hosting/

Lightning Base Review: Managed WordPress Hosting

If you’re looking for the best managed WordPress hosting provider then you’ve come to the right place.

Since Day one, back on March 26th, 2016, the day I signed up for Lightning Base, I knew that it was going to be the place I call home for News47ell.

As I begin this Lightning Base Review, I’m going to say it now: Sign up. If you are looking for the most secure, fastest and the best managed WordPress hosting provider, look no more, because Lightning Base is all of this and much more.

Keep reading my Lightning Base review to get an in-depth look at Lightning Base and it’s exclusive features that make it one of the best managed WordPress hosting providers out there.

Lightning Base review

Coming soon.

— Lightning Base (@LightningBase) December 13, 2011

Choosing a hosting provider for your WordPress site is like choosing a house for you and your family. It needs to be:

Secure & Private: You don’t want anyone to be able to access your home.

Great environment: You want your family to live in a great neighborhood.

Built by professionals: You don’t want the house to collapse.

Upgradeable: An unplanned baby? No problem, build an extra room.

24/7 support: When something breaks inevitably, there should be a team of experts who are ready with a fix.

All managed WordPress hosting providers promise to offer the features above, but not all follow on their promises. Many fall short on the environment for example by using old architecture, some fall short on support, some on security and privacy which is really scary since you’re trusting them with your hard work. It’s unacceptable.

Lightning Base, on the other hand, follows up on everything I mentioned above. Making News47ell, more secure, with a lightning-fast loading time and a 99.9% uptime. It’s unlike anything else I have ever seen before in my life.

Why I moved to a new host

Before Lightning Base, I migrated from one host to another and finally, I settled on one that I thought was reliable. I was completely wrong.

News47ell.com started to flatline multiple times a day. I did my best trying to figure out what the hell was causing this issue but I had no luck. And, with no fix on the horizon even after I contacted their support team, I decided it was time to take News47ell somewhere else.

Yes! The red highligh on line 1 is an 8 hours and 40 minutes downtime!

I wanted to host News47ell with a top-notch managed WordPress hosting provider where I don’t even need to contact the support team in case of an emergency because there will be no case of emergencies. A host of servers that are already configured properly and maintained by professionals, where I won’t face any major issues randomly during the day that takes News47ell offline multiple times a day.

I wanted a managed WordPress hosting provider that I could watch News47ell grow old with and offer a few specific things:

PHP 7

Staging Environment

Let’s Encrypt

Options to scale

Reasonable prices

After a few days of research, I came across Lightning Base and I decided to send the support team an email to see if they offer the things I listed above.

When I got a reply from Lightning Base, I was surprised to see that the person who replied to me was Chris Piepho, the Founder of Lightning Base.

We sent emails back and forth for a week, I asked him about every tiny detail I could think of before signing up. He was very detail oriented in his replies, answering every question I had with as much information as possible. Towards the end, he assured me I would find everything I was looking for AND much more with Lightning Base.

And so, on March 26th, 2016, at 8:43 PM, I signed up for Lightning Base and with that, News47ell started a new chapter and a new journey with a new host. It actually feels more like a home now.

Make sure to read my announcement article which I published when I moved my site to Lightning Base.

The 3 Promises:

Lightning Base describes themselves as a Fast, Secure and Managed WordPress hosting provider. After hosting my site with them for nearly 2 years (1 Year, 11 Months) I can say Lightning Base kept their word and delivered.

So let’s get technical and dive in deeper in my Lightning Base review to see how Lightning Base delivers on being a fast, secure and managed WordPress hosting provider with all the features it has to offer.

Fast WordPress Hosting:

The reason why Lightning Base is a Fast WordPress hosting provider comes from the fact that Lightning Base doesn’t use NGINX, Apache, Lighttpd, Facebook HHMV or Microsoft IIS. Instead, it uses LiteSpeed.

To be more specific, LiteSpeed Enterprise, an Apache compatible, proprietary web server and a server-level caching software, developed and maintained by LiteSpeed Technologies.

LiteSpeed Web Server is the 4th most popular web server with a market share of 3.3%. It includes the following features:

HTTP/2: LiteSpeed is the first commercial server to offer full HTTP/2 support. HTTP/2 features include binary protocol, fully multiplexed and header compression.

Gzip compression: Save bandwidth by compressing the files sent to the client.

Apache Compatibility: LiteSpeed Web Server has been designed to run off Apache’s httpd.conf and .htaccess files.

Apache modules: LiteSpeed Web Server is compatible with Apache core modules like mod_rewrite, mod_security, mod_include, and mod_cache.

.Htaccess caching: LiteSpeed Web Server uses .htaccess caching to make use of .htaccess files without the performance hit.

And many, many more features…

Along with that, Lightning Base servers use 100% SSD based storage. Arranged in a Raid 10 configuration. These SSDs provide redundancy, speed and combining them with Cloudflare CDN makes for the absolute fastest access times.

Secure WordPress Hosting

According to Lightning Base:

Our servers are protected by a comprehensive, dynamic firewall, followed by a web app firewall configured to prevent malicious code.

Lightning Base isolates filesystem for each and every user and uses a set of security features that come packed with LiteSpeed. For example:

Anti-DDoS connection

Per-IP Throttling

Anti SSL BEAST

SSL Renegotiation Protection

Strict HTTP request validation

Mod_security

And much more…

If all of this isn’t enough, you can always let your traffic go through Cloudflare and use the infamous Wordfence Security WordPress plugin. And always use a complex, long password and keep it safe using 1Password.

For more info on how to keep intruders away from your site, read my tutorial: How to Protect WordPress Login Page.

Managed WordPress Hosting

Imagine this scenario: You’re busy at work and you get a phone call that a water pipe broke and water is spewing everywhere in your house. What would you do?

Call a technician to fix it?

Take time off of work, go home and try to fix it yourself? Keep in mind that you don’t know anything about fixing water pipes.

I would go with option A. Let professionals do their job.

That’s what managed WordPress hosting is all about. Letting the server administrator fix any issue the server might have, keep it fast, secure and up and running. While you focus on creating a beautiful, read-worthy content.

Throughout my time with Lightning Base, I never had to deal with any issue. It’s all managed by Chris.

Lightning Base Features

The architecture of LiteSpeed

As I mentioned above, Lightning Base isn’t your typical managed WordPress hosting provider. It uses LiteSpeed web servers. Which is capable of handling thousands of concurrent clients with minimal memory consumption and CPU usage.

Each Lightning Base site comes pre-installed with LiteSpeed cache WordPress plugin.

This plugin is loaded with dozens of features that take your WordPress site speed to the next level.

Such as:

OPcode – Object Cache (Memcached/LSMCD/Redis)

Minify CSS, JavaScript, and HTML

Combine and load CSS/JS Asynchronously

Browser Cache Support

Smart preload crawler with support for SEO-friendly sitemap

Database Cleaner and Optimizer

HTTP/2 Push for CSS/JS (on web servers that support it)

DNS Prefetch

Cloudflare API

WebP image format support

Heartbeat control

The features of this awesome plugin don’t end here. There is a set of features that are exclusive to hosts that are LiteSpeed-powered, like Lightning Base, and those features include:

Automatic page caching to greatly improve site performance

Automatic purge of related pages based on certain events

Private cache for logged-in users

Caching of WordPress REST API calls

Ability to schedule purge for specified URLs

WooCommerce and bbPress support

WordPress CLI commands

HTTP/2 & QUIC support (QUIC not available in OpenLiteSpeed)

ESI (Edge Side Includes) support.

For a full list of all exclusive and non-exclusive features, check the plugin in the WordPress directory.

As for the architecture behind Lightning Base, each and every server uses the following software:

CentOS

LiteSpeed

PHP 7.2: You can switch between PHP 5.6, 7, 7.1, and 7.2 in cPanel

MariaDB: Community developed, free fork and drop-in replacement of MySQL

Let’s Encrypt

These work together to increase the performance and speed of your site to a whole new level.

As well as making it more secure and reliable, while maintaining very similar features that everyone knows and loves. Thanks to its compatibility with Apache, its ability to read and run off Apache’s httpd.conf and .htaccess files with no configuration required.

Servers locations

When signing up, you get to choose the location of your server between 3 options: US Central – Australia Melbourne – Netherlands Amsterdam.

Chi252

Chi351

Chi352

Chi353

Chi354

Chi355

Chi356

Iwa251

Ams251

Ams252

Mel251

Both the Chicago and Amsterdam servers are powered by SingleHop, a leading global provider of hosted IT infrastructure and cloud computing that brings enterprise-class technologies to deliver a customized cloud infrastructure experience for enterprises of all sizes.

As for Melbourne, that server is powered by IBM Softlayer. Now known as IBM Cloud. A global cloud infrastructure platform built for Internet scale with a modular architecture that provides unparalleled performance, control and a global network for secure, low-latency communications.

Each one of these servers is placed strategically and optimized in a way to deliver your content anywhere around the world in a lightning fast, reliable and secure way with the absolute minimum waiting time and minimum to no downtime.

Lightning Base Dashboard

Lightning Base has a pretty clean, straightforward and easy to understand dashboard which contains everything you need to manage your account.

Active Products/Service: Easily manage your site(s) from here, access cPanel and upgrade your server and your email, or the email’s cPanel to manage spam filter and email forwarding.

Support Tickets: Have a quick access to past and current tickets and open new ones right there from your dashboard.

Domains: Transfer and Purchase domains with any .TLD .gTLD .cctld etc.

Clicking on your site in the product and service widget, it will reveal extra info about it, such as:

Disk / Bandwidth usage

Quick access to cPanel

Few cPanel shortcuts

Extra info about your site

CDN

Lightning Base takes advantage of the amazing Cloudflare CDN which makes your site load even faster anywhere around the world. As well as adding an extra layer of security and give you a set of tools that will optimize and speed up your site.

News47ell currently runs on Cloudflare. It supports both HTTP2 and Railgun, and best of all, it’s free. But if you want to pay CDN, check out KeyCDN or BunnyCDN.

Uptime

This was my main frustration with my previous host, a daily downtime of about 30 minutes with no solution in sight.

With Lightning Base, things are again very different, with an uptime of 99.9% on both Pingdom and Uptime Robot.

You can check out our public status page.

Email

With each Lightning Base account, you will get 5 email addresses, 5 GB of storage and unlimited forwarders. It’s great, free and easy to set up. You can either go with the RoundCube web client or set up apps like Mail, Spark or Thunderbird.

Free SSL

Nowadays everybody knows about Let’s Encrypt. The free, easy to deploy SSL certificate. Lightning Base offers an easy solution to deploy your SSL certificate onto your site through cPanel.

Have your own certificate? No problem! Lightning Base also offers the option to bring your own certificate and deploy it, free of charge.

Staging environment

Lightning Base does offer a staging environment. It’s a part of the cPanel software ecosystem and it works really well.

You can easily clone your production site with one click, do all the changes and development that you want. And once you’re ready, one-click is all that separates you from pushing the staging environment back to the production site.

Backups

When something is important to you, back it up, not just once, but multiple times and put the backup in multiple places. Online and offline.

That’s what Lightning Base does with their customer’s data. They perform a daily backup of all the data they have and then they copy these backups to an off-site location in case of a disaster.

Full backups are performed weekly and a database backup is performed daily. You can increase the frequency of the backups but note that it will take more of your plans bandwidth.

If you have your own storage, you can send these backups to yourself.

Customer Support

Support at Lightning Base is something out of this world. Not all managed WordPress hosting providers have a great customer support like the one provided by Lightning Base.

So why is it so good?

Most of the time when I contacted the support, it was Chris who replied to me. He’s the only one who knows exactly how his hosting environment runs.

When someone else replies, your ticket won’t travel between multiple support agents until it gets fixed. Only one is assigned to it and only that agent will reply to you. That’s good because then you wouldn’t have to re-explain your issue to every new agent that replies to a single ticket.

You will wait only a short amount of time before you get a reply from/to your tickets. It will be as detailed as you like which helps you understand exactly what caused this, how it was solved, and how to prevent it from happening again.

Isn’t that enough?

I think it is. Seeing that Chris handles most of the support tickets by himself, this helps create a great relationship between the customer and the founder. This isn’t easy to have with other managed WordPress hosting providers. This was one of the main reasons in the first place why I started writing my Lightning Base review.

Affiliate Program

This is pretty straightforward, like many affiliate programs out there. You will get a special link. Once someone visits this link, a cookie will be placed on the visitor’s computer and it will stay active for 90 days.

Once the visitor signs up, you will get 20% of the hosting plan revenue. When your account reaches $100, you can have the balance paid via Paypal.

Pricing:

Lightning Base offers a wide range of plans for everyone. Whether it’s your personal or business site. This fast and reliable Managed WordPress Hosting provider offers very generous plans to meet your demand.

Starting at $9.95/mo, this personal plan will get you 1 WordPress with 10,000 Monthly Pageviews, 1GB SSD Storage, and 10GB bandwidth.

Prices go up all the way up to $99.95/mo which allows up to 25 WordPress sites with 140,000 Monthly Pageviews, 14GB SSD Storage, and 140GB bandwidth.

All plans come with 24/7 support, backup, PHP 7 and Let’s Encrypt.

Let’s take News47ell for a spin

I did a few tests on News47ell because I wanted my Lightning Base review to contain test results taken from a live site, rather than a demo site. Because let’s face it, you want to host a real site, with millions of visitors. Not a dummy site.

After conducting multiple tests, News47ell got an impressive score on all the tests.

Bitcatcha – Test Result

Bitcatcha allows you to determine how fast your server is by testing it in 8 different locations around the world.

As you can see, News47ell got a pretty impressive score with a rating of A+

Pingdom – Test Result

Pingdom is a very popular tool that allows you to monitor the up/downtime of your website. They also provide a tool that allows you to analyze your site, check it’s load time and find any bottlenecks.

As you can see, News47ell’s performance grade is A 95 with a load time of 536 ms.

WebPageTest – Test Result

WebPageTest is another popular and much more detailed tool that tests the speed of your site using a wide range of mobile devices as well as desktop, on any browser of your choosing in locations all around the world.

As you can see, News47ell scored 1.539s on the first loading time and 0.231s on the first byte. And A grades across all other tests performed by WebPageTest

SSL Labs Powered by Qualys SSL Labs – Test Result

Last but not least there’s Qualys SSL Labs. It’s a test that determines whether your server SSL configuration is done the right way. Scott Helme describes it in a simple way in this article by saying:

‘It’s a great way to get a feel for whether or not you’re doing SSL right.’

As you can see, again, Lightning Base scores an impressive A+ rating.

Hashtag LightningBase

Here are some tweets that people sent out about their experience with Lightning Base.

Congrats to @asmallorange @KinstaHosting @LightningBase @pagely @getpantheon @pressidium @presslabs pic.twitter.com/kQ72QbVtiC

— Review Signal (@ReviewSignal) July 28, 2015

I've had a great experience migrating #WordPress sites to @LightningBase. Top notch performance and support. Wish I knew of them years ago.

— Scott Carter (@sc456a) June 30, 2016

Loving @LightningBase — awesome WP hosting. Highly recommended. Also, their support is awesome. Thanks Chris! #hosting #WordPress

— Hannah Wright (@hannahwrightAK) June 14, 2016

My new hosting company is so fast they respond to my tickets before I even finish typing them. Thanks @LightningBase

— Brittney Wilson, BSN (@TheNerdyNurse) January 10, 2015

Conclusion

Thank you for reading all the way to the end. Although we are at the end of my Lightning Base review, hopefully, this will be the start of your online journey with this amazing managed WordPress hosting provider.

The amount of love, dedication, and work that Chris put into Lightning Base is unlike anything I have ever seen. It’s truly remarkable.

Chris managed to build a state of the art managed WordPress hosting environment, unlike anything you’ve seen before. Using software that works all together in harmony to create the ultimate hosting experience for everyone using WordPress.

Don’t miss out on experiencing what it’s like to host your WordPress site with Lightning Base and maybe one day, you will write your own Lightning Base review.

Lightning Base

#LightningBase #WordPress #Hosting #LiteSpeed #WebHosting #WebPerf

[gravetells]

Get naked with shifter John Nelson from Heather Long’s Thunder Wolf #excerpt #giveaway

  Do you love wolf shifters and heartfelt romances? Then this is your series!

Follow the tour on March 6th – 10th. One (1) grand prize winner will receive a Thunder Wolf throw blanket and signed print copy of Rogue Wolf (US Only). Ten (10) winners will receive a print copy of Rogue Wolf (US Only). Giveaway details at the bottom of this post!

Read an excerpt

First things first, he was going to go very long hot shower to scrub his brain and body free of the lingering hunger he experienced where Hadley was concerned. Twenty minutes later, with a towel wrapped around his hips, he walked back into his bedroom to find Hadley perched on the foot of his bed with a cup of coffee in hand. She looked deliciously sleep rumpled, right down to the creases in her cheek and the wild disarray of her curls. He wasn’t sure if it was her or the scent of coffee, which struck him in the solar plexus. “Coffee.” The syllables came out like a pair of grunts. She pointed toward the dresser and he followed with his gaze to where she indicated. A large mug of coffee awaited him, cream no sugar. “Thank you.” He claimed the cup and took a long drink. The scalding heat combined with the rich flavor of the Arabica beans and the hint of sweetness in the cream went a long way toward soothing his unsettled beast. “Yep.” Only the hardness of the word made it discernible in her mumble. The beast might be sitting upright and drinking coffee, but he knew better than to engage. John gathered his clothing in one hand before grabbing the mug with the other, then walked toward the bathroom. It wasn’t until he stepped inside that he realized he’d gone to change out of sight of the wolf he cared about so much. Embarrassment flooded him. Chagrinned, he glanced toward where she sat, but she didn’t so much as glance up from staring into her coffee mug. Hopefully, she hadn’t noticed. Nudity among wolves couldn’t be an issue. They shed their skin for fur and fur for skin—they were always naked. Being a prude or worrying about body issues wouldn’t let them last long. Hell, he’d seen Hadley nude plenty of times, as she had him. While he treasured those memories of her beauty, he refused to ogle her. Why was it a big deal today? Uncertain of whether to be annoyed or worried, John stripped off the towel and ran it over his body quickly to dry off any remaining moisture. Afterward, he dragged on a pair of briefs, followed by jeans then a loose T-shirt. He skipped shoes, as he didn’t expect them to go out anywhere and he preferred the maneuverability bare feet provided. Sipping his coffee, he returned to the bedroom and Hadley. She hadn’t moved from her previous position, and continued to cradle her coffee mug. “You want a second cup?” She grunted. She never was very good before she had at least one full cup of coffee in the morning. “Come on down when you’re ready. I’m going to start breakfast.” He made it all the way down the stairs and halfway to the kitchen when he realized breakfast wasn’t what he’d been seeking when he left the room. He’d been running away.

About the book

Most Lone Wolves have a story–a pack they left behind, a love they lost, or worse, one they buried. Some leave their packs to roam because they crave freedom, and independence. Some leave because in their hearts, they can’t bear to stay. Some leave because they see no way to go back…

Enforcer John Nelson has pulled double duty for months, keeping an eye on the Lone Wolves who are his charges as well as those that once answered to Margo Montgomery. More of a loner than most, he doesn’t mind going months at a time without seeing another Enforcer as was his typical pattern or at least it was until the formation of the Three Rivers pack disrupted lives everywhere. Now he must divide his time between watching the upstarts and checking on his charges while working with the other Enforcers to anticipate the next move by the Russian Volchitsa. No Enforcer expected to find themselves among the hunted, but when they target the one wolf he can tolerate, John defies orders to go after her.

Hadley Sexton is a bit of a wild card even for an Enforcer, and she loves being unpredictable. More of a mother hen than she likes to admit, she keeps an eye on her Lone Wolves, and treats them more like family than charges…but when three Enforcers are brutally murdered over the course of three weeks, Hadley discovers someone has been shadowing her trail and they aren’t alone. It is a dangerous game with a brutal enemy, one willing to kill the wolves she’s sworn to protect to draw her out.

For Hadley, John will break every rule, but will he be in time?

Find Thunderwolf online at Amazon* | Kobo | iTunes | B&N

New to the series?

No worries! You don’t need to read them in order. But if you’re really a stickler for starting from the beginning, here’s the first book in the Wolves of Willow Bend series*:

About the author

National bestselling author, Heather Long, likes long walks in the park, science fiction, superheroes, Marines, and men who aren’t douche bags. Her books are filled with heroes and heroines tangled in romance as hot as Texas summertime. From paranormal historical westerns to contemporary military romance, Heather might switch genres, but one thing is true in all of her stories—her characters drive the books. When she’s not wrangling her menagerie of animals, she devotes her time to family and friends she considers family. She believes if you like your heroes so real you could lick the grit off their chest, and your heroines so likable, you’re sure you’ve been friends with women just like them, you’ll enjoy her worlds as much as she does.

Connect with Heather online at her Website | Facebook | Twitter | Goodreads | Amazon

Giveaway (US only)

Are you already a fan of Heather Long’s books? New reader but can’t wait to dive into Thunder Wolf? Leave a comment below and then fill out the giveaway form. Good luck!! a Rafflecopter giveaway

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*Denotes GraveTells affiliate link

from Get naked with shifter John Nelson from Heather Long’s Thunder Wolf #excerpt #giveaway